Le Livre

Chapter 2

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Through Sheena I learned who the guy I bumped into was, kaya pala familiar siya. I often hear his name. He’s neither on the Dean’s list nor in the top section, but he sure is intelligent, he’s acing his grades and but not a nerdy type of guy. I also often see him in our English class before, but we don’t talk to each other, para kaming hindi magkakilala. I also heard he’s courting one of our classmate back then. I really don’t care though, ’cause I‘m busy with my own sh*t with my Ex-boyfriend, and someone’s trying to court me too.

One time he approached me, he wanted my he­lp for our project sa pa-major naming subject.

“Ms. Laura, hi” Aniya.

”Ahh? Hi?”

“Ahh, Ms. Laura, tatanong ko lang sana yung tungkol dun sa pinapagawa ni Sir.”

”Ah, ano bang tungkol dun? Teka pwede bang favor?”

“Kahit ano Ms. Laura.”

“Can you please drop the Miss? Ang formal masyado eh.”

“Sorry Mi-, I mean Laura.”

After noon naging madalas kaming mag-kausap, he keeps on bugging me, but not in an annoying way. We became friends, I felt comfortable having him around hanging out with us, he even asked for my number at lagi na kaming nagkakatext and call. Yung sa manliligaw ko naman, ayun, basted. I‘m not interested in him anyway; he’s kind and fun to talk to, kaya lang, alam niyo yun, walang sparks.

Nalaman kong hindi naman daw pala siya nanliligaw dun sa classmate namin, he admitted that he likes her but not to the point na liligawan niya. I even tease him to court our classmate ’cause they’re quite a match, but he refuse to. He told me that he likes somebody else and if ever na pumayag daw yung girl, he will court her E.VE.RY.DAY! Ang sweet niya no? Ang swerte nung girl na gusto niya. Sabi pa nga niya, kahit daw sila na nung girl or kahit na matagal na sila, liligawan pa din daw niya yun.

A guy like him and his words, parang ang hirap paniwalaang meron pang tulad niya. Or siguro nadala na lang kasi ako. A friend introduced the guy to me. He’s kind, sweet, thoughtful and etc. He courted me, brought me stuffs like flowers and stuffed toys and even go to our house to visit or to tambay. We were sweet and all. Sheena was even envious that I found a guys like him. But after a year or so, he changed. Bigla na lang hindi na siya sweet, hindi na ganoon kadalas mag-text and given me too many excuses to see me. Parang bumaliktad ang mundo, in short, lahat ng ginagawa niya noon hindi na niya ginagawa after.

I thought what we have was forever, pero hindi pala. I sometimes daydream about us in the future, us living together and having kids, pero hindi na mangyayari. He broke up with me, he didn’t even gave me a valid reason why he broke up with me or should I say I didn’t accept his reason as valid. Ang sabi lang niya kasi, di na daw niya kayang pag-sabayin ang studies niya at ako, I didn’t believe in him, It’s one of the lamest excuse to break up with with someone. There’s this feeling and I believed that he just fallen out of love but he just won’t admit it to me. Masakit! Hindi ko alam kung saan ba ako nag-kulang para humantong kami sa ganun, pero wala akong makuhang sagot.

A year na ang lumipas after we broke up, may kirot pa rin sa dibdib kapag nakikita ko siya pero hindi na katulad nung mga first three months. Thanks to Sheena for being a great friend and a shoulder to lean on gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko. Minsan naniniwala akong first love never dies, pero sabi naman ni Sheena, di daw totoo yun kasi kung siya nga daw naka-dalawang boyfriend na, same lang daw yung naramdaman niya dun sa dalawa. Hay! Ewan ko!

But now, I can say I‘m okay, I moved on – totally or maybe ninety-eight percent. Kasi sabi, imposible daw mawala yung love mo sa isang tao. It’s just never the same but it’s still there, just in a different approach, ika nga.