Trouble

hold me because ill never be this bold again

04/02/19
4:38pm

hold me
never have i been so bold
i've always left my feelings untouched and untold
but you managed to make my mind unfold
you recognized how i could be so cold
because i was scared
of my broken pieces being sold
leaving me impaired
but you treated me like a princess
and i was afraid you couldn't have cared
less
i placed my feelings on hold
because i couldn't have dared
to confess
so now
too little too late
i stress
my emotions
still ignoring the boys after me on my plate
all for the sake
of your words
repeated in my mind
my devotion
and i hate
how absurd
i was.
blind,
my vision blurred
because i was too afraid to let my true feelings be heard.

i wonder if you know, if you knew -
and just chose not to say
i wonder what you would do
if you and i had stayed the same.
and i used to pray
but that's bullshit.
i'm in love with your name
how you don't give me the time of day
when you could be it
for me
or maybe
it's the part of me that's insane
that believes in the way
i seem to think you can tame
me.
because i'm not one to fall easily
hell
i always thought having one special person and love was silly
my father didn't raise me well
but all i know is living without loving you makes my heart swell

i'm reserved and quiet
i know i deserved to not get you
but darling
please hold me
the cold me
the becoming-bold me
the girl with the closed-off heart
please
take a part of me
it's the art you see
my mind in agony
pondering what we could be