Chapter 5: Drunk
Bill was happy that Ford liked him, although their relationship was starting slow it made Bill want to celebrate. He currently searching for some alcohol, but wasn't having any luck finding it, Ford or Fez had hidden it well.
"Looking for something? Bill?" Stan asked.
"Got any alcohol?"
"Why?"
"I wanna celebrate is why"
Stan pondered this, "If I give you some will you promise to get Ford drunk?"
"What?"
"I've never seen him drunk, I want to know what hes like, its going to be hilarious I just know it!"
"Ooo, okay I'll see what I can do, now where is it?"
"The cupboard to your left has a removable back" Stan said, Bill un-lodged it, "Whoa this is handy! And you got all the good stuff! I thought you were cheap?"
"Hey! When it comes to alcohol I don't buy cheap"
"Good" Bill said, pulling out a few bottles of Jack.
"Now this should work" Bill added grinning "FORD!"
"WHAT!"
"COME HAVE A DRINK WITH ME!"
He heard footsteps and Ford appeared in the kitchen, "What?"
"Come have a drink with me, you're young now, it shouldn't ruin anything, right? Your livers all good now right?"
Ford looked at the time, then at the bottles "I suppose one won't hurt"
Bill smiled "That's the spirit, Sixer!"
Bill used his powers to keep Fords glass from emptying, laughing in his head every time Ford looked at his glass confused as to why it wasn't finished yet.
Stan came in moments later to check on them and stopped as he noticed Bill was grinning at Ford, who looked almost ready to pass out, "Hey look Ford, it's your buddy Stan!"
Ford giggled, "Hey Leeeeeeeeee" he said, grinning at Stan with his eyes unfocused.
"Okay this is gold, how much he had?" Stan asked with a laugh.
"Not to sure, I didn't keep track" Bill said, swirling his glass, the ice clicked.
Ford was giggling again, "Hey! Hey Bill? Hey Bill? Hey Bill!?"
"Yes?"
"Hiiii" Ford said and burst into laughter,
Bill chuckled "You're a happy drunk, aren't you, Sixer"
"Billllllllllllll I love you so much! Your hair issss floofy" Ford slurred reaching out to feels Bills blonde hair, the demon let him.
Stan was laughing hard in the corner.
There was a small thud as Ford's head hit the table, soft snores emitted from his mouth.
"That was fun, buts he going to hate you in the morning for getting him drunk"
"He only had one" Bill said smirking, he lifted Ford up from his chair and took him to bed.
Stan came in with a glass of water and some pain killers just as he was tucking him in, "For when he wakes up"
"Oh, human medicine, cool!" Bill said, examining the contents.
~
The next morning Ford came into the kitchen quite late, "Bill Cipher, how dare you get me drunk" he said, sounding rather annoyed.
Dipper chuckled, finishing his breakfast cereal.
"Please tell me we didn't? You know?" Ford asked
"No, of course not, we stayed in the kitchen, you had one glass and then you got a little too happy and then passed out on the kitchen table. I had to drag you to bed and let you sleep it off"
Ford rubbed his eyes "One glass?"
"Yep"
"Liar! Tell the truth" Ford said, filling a cup up with water,
Bill drummed his fingers on the table,
"I may have used my magic to refill the glass when you weren't looking...Grump at Stan he was the one who wanted to get you drunk in the first place, I just happened to agree."
"Stanley!" Ford growled
"I'm out of here" Stan said, hurrying out of the kitchen as he abandoned his breakfast.
Mabel skipped in, "MORNING GRUNKLE FORD!"
"Mabel! Not so loud!" Ford complained.
"Why? Whats wrong?"
"He got drunk last night and now he has a hangover, loud noises hurt" Bill said as Mabel placed Buttons on the table.
"Oh, sorry Grunkle Ford" Mabel whispered.
Buttons hopped over to Bill and sniffed his hand. Bill stroked his head, "Hey little guy, hows it going?"
Mabel giggled "He can't talk silly!"
"I can read his thoughts, he happy, he likes you, and hes hungry"
"Awesome!" Mabel squealed pulling over the cereal and milk,
"Mabel sweetie not so loud, please?" Ford complained, rubbing his temples.
Bill passed him some coffee "Here"
"Thanks" Ford said taking it, he sniffed it cautiously.
"Relax Sixer, it's just coffee, no alcohol this time"
Ford took a short sip as Mabel fed Buttons a lettuce leaf, giggling as his little nose twitched.
Hes so cute when hes hungover.
Hes even cuter drunk.
Can't have both.
We should get him drunk more often.
I agree.
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