The Shadow of Silver

Chapter 4

The next day was full of Remus staring at me quietly, and Sirius doing the same when he got back from work. As if they were trying to figure me out. A mere science experiment.

I didn't know what to do. Still. Should I sign the form? It was money, so why was I holding back? It wasn't because of Cedric... He hadn't had any problems with signing the form...

When I met with Cedric again, he asked if I had filled it out yet. I debated what I should say- Which, in itself, was odd. Generally, I wouldn't consider telling anything but the truth to Cedric. But here I was.

"Yes," I muttered, and immediately, my gut clenched. Why had I said that? Why had I lied?

But he smiled, and I decided to live in the moment. Guilt could come later, I thought.

But when I got back home, both Remus and Sirius were out, and I saw the form sitting on the table. Mocking me. It seemed normal enough. A slip of paper, of more quality, than... Well, everything in my life, really. It, alone, probably cost more than the table, I reasoned.

I glared at it.

Why did it have to come into my life? I hadn't appreciated the difficulty of the decisions that girls had to make about the Selection. Not until I had to make the same one, anyway.

Suddenly, a rush of something overcame me, and I grabbed a pen and filled it in. Name, age, caste... All the normal things. Skills? I wanted to leave that blank, but I filled in what I could and ran to the corner of the street, where there was a box to collect the forms.

I couldn't help but notice that there were at least hundreds of forms there. I guess that other people didn't have a problem with the prince as I did. Then again, my form was going into the pile as well...

I didn't really know why I did it. I just knew that it was money and that it meant that, technically, I wouldn't have lied completely to Cedric.

The rest of the day was spent doubting myself- Even though I didn't know why. After all, I wasn't going to get through, and neither was anyone else that had put their forms into the box, right?

At least, that was what I had to tell myself. Because otherwise, I might've had to go back to the box and try to get it back.

But, in the night, I couldn't stand it anymore. It was fake. It wasn't me. Was I really someone who would disregard everything I knew was right to get some money? So, I sneaked out when I was sure everyone was asleep, and made my way over to the box, on the street, in the dark. I knew that the rich people had streetlamps, but we didn't. They would come in pretty bloody useful right about now.

But when I approached the box, I realized it was empty. Cold dread swept through my heart, leaving nothing in its wake. They had come and taken the forms. By "they", I meant the people who were working for the royal family, or whatever.

I fell to my knees as I felt the breath being knocked out of me. What I had just done was just making its way to my head now. Kicking me in the gut. What if... What if, for some absurd reason, I got chosen?

No. I couldn't think like that. I had to stop thinking of the worst possible outcome.

"Hey, you okay over there, mate?" a voice called, and I looked up. There, on the other side of the box, was a red-headed boy, peering down at me. I got up, quickly.

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied and held my hand out for him to shake. Just because we were poor didn't mean we had to act like it, Sirius always said. So, he raised me like a gentleman.

At least, on the outside. On the inside, I was the same as the next scraggly Five.

He, as most people did, stared at my hand dubiously, as if he was unsure why it was there. Then he gave it an awkward sideways high-five, and I turned red.