GUS

leaving

When i woke up, my arms were covered in dry blood so I decided to get a shower. All my stuff was in mine and Gus' room so i had to go get it. I opened the door and Gus fell through the door way. He must've sat there all night. His eyes were puffy and his face was tearstained , like mine.
"Kenz" he pleaded.
"No" i snapped as i shoved past him and into our room, slamming the door behind me.
Of course he followed.

GUS POV
"Baby please" i pleaded.
I need her. It physically hurts me being like this with her.
"I dont wanna fucking hear it"
She was picking up her stuff for the shower and her hands were shaking.
"Kenz" my voice cracked.
She slammed the bottle of shampoo down on the dresser looked me dead in the eye. There was no expression on her face, she was just blank. Her eyes were welled up but vacant.
"You were supposed to love me. Gus you were supposed to love me. How could you? I don't understand what i did wrong? I tried. I tried SO fucking hard." she said emotionless, it was like she had cried to her limit and now she felt empty.
"Kenz it was one mistake, i love you"
"Oh yeah? How do i know it was once?"
"Because i told you, i'm not gunna lie to you!"
"Seriously? You also told me you loved me before you FUCKED YOUR EX IN MY FUCKING BED! YOU ALSO LIED TO ME WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME. ALLLLLL THOSE 'I LOVE YOUS' IT WAS ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT GUSTAV. BULLSHIT. YOU DONT FUCKING LOVE ME. YOU WERE JUST BORED. YOU WERE TOYING AROUND WITH MY EMOTIONS. FUCK. YOU. ASSHOLE." She screamed.
She slammed her towels into my chest and disappeared downstairs. I stood there for about five minutes completely broken, then she reappeared with a roll of bin bags.
I watched her as she walked around the house stuffing all her stuff into bags.
"Kenz please. I love you so fucking much. It's physically hurting me." I sobbed
"You know what else physically hurt? My fucking heart when i walked in and saw you balls deep in your ex girlfriend"
I didn't even know what to say. There was nothing i could do. She was leaving me. The love of my life was leaving me.
"One thing i realised today apart from that the love was one sided? You don't know anything about me whereas I made a thing of learning everything about you. You dont know anything apart from what i told you the first day, do you"
She whined
"Tell me. Tell me please. I will learn everything about you until i know you better than you know yourself."
"Too late Gus" she told me as she headed toward the front door.

TRACY POV
I was literally watching my best friends life fall apart in front of me.
"Kenz?"
"What Tracy"
"I'm sorry. If i had told Gus to stay with me instead of agreeing to lie for him to you, none of this would have happened."
"Tracy. I'm pissed at you , but none of this was your fault. None of this would have happened if Gus loved me as much as he says he does. None of this would have happened if Gus wasn't a fucking ass". She whimpered, trying to maintain a strong voice.
I turned towards Gus as she said this and i could see his heart being ripped out. I had never seen him in so much pain. He had been crying uncontrollably for hours to me last night and all this morning. He could hardly breathe through his sobs. His face was stained from tears and his eyes were puffy.
"Before you go then, i just want you to know something. I have never seen Gus as happy as he is when you're around. You make him a better person, Kenz. He loves you with everything he has. Look at him, he hates himself for doing this to you." I told her, not one word if it was a lie.
With her hand on the door handle and the other hand full of bags , she looked at Gus, who was laid on the floor with horse comforting him.
All i could make out of him saying was "im nothing without her. My hearts been ripped out horse. She's the one"
I looked back towards Kenz who was still staring at Gus. She was silently crying her eyes out. She then looked at me and gave a fake smile. The sadness in her face was overwhelming. She turned to the door and left without saying goodbye.

KENZ POV

PHONE CALL

Leigha💘 - Whats wrong?
kenz - nothing important. How are you and Reece? Whats it like in Scotland?
Leigha💘- kenz , youre not even speaking you're fucking crying. Tell me whats wrong.
kenz - (tells her everything)
Leigha💘- I'm gonna kill him. I'm gunna fucking kill that bastard.
kenz- NO
Leigha💘- why?
kenz- i love him L
Leigha💘- where are you gonna go?
kenz - i dunno , i'll find somewhere.
Leigha💘 - I gotta go. Text me everyday i mean it
kenz- okay, i love you
Leigha💘- i love you too
phone call ends

I slammed my head onto the steering wheel of Gus' benz truck that he let me use. Both hands were gripping the sides of the wheel as i began to scream, cry and howl uncontrollably. I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. It felt like my entire heart had been ripped from my chest. Fuck.
After my last boyfriend, i promised i'd never let myself fully love someone again and Gus changed that. He made me feel like i had purpose, like i was special. He made me happy and now the thought of him makes me want to fucking die. I love him with my entire heart. Where am i meant to go now?