Sometimes I think back at the times it was just you and me. The couple. But things changed. You broke up, I still loved you. I got over you and you got over me. We got comfortable with eachother again. We were bestfriends that loved each other on a platonic base. We were the friends that everyone thought are together. Then time changed again. My anxiety grew over. You asked what we are. I didn't have an answer. We were bestfriends. I was afraid that I will love you again and everything would change. We wouldnt be as comfortable with eachother as we were. You would'nt hold my hand, kiss my forehead. We would'nt cuddle with eachother, or you wouldnt give me your coat when im cold even if I don't want it. I was afraid everything would change. My anxiety grew bigger and bigger, I lost all the self love I had because I was afraid, thought of myself that I'm the worst human being, that im not worthy to be loved. Cause thats what I feel like everyday. Ive told some people about it but they didn't take me serious. Im being hated at school, my class mates hate me and my mentality isnt that strong that i can take it. But the only thing i ever hear from people is "listen, in half a year you wont see them again very often, its all over by then" but you know what? It still hurts, it hurts so much i cant take it. I know im a whiny bitch, i shouldnt complain but i cant take it any longer. I get tears in my eyes just for being told i was wrong by my teacher. I cry so much. Im such a baby.. now I am even more afraid cause I realised that the thing happened i never wanted to be happened again. I learned to love you again. 3 years after we broke up. But now it seems we are more distant to each other, I miss our late night chats, our "fights" about who is right or wrong, our problem to find a topic to talk about. I really miss you but you never gonna now what I feel, I dont want that things even change more cause I love you again. You never gonna now how I feel cause I dont wanna things to change even more.
I'm sorry for bothering you but you wont get that message anyway.
I love you..
YOU ARE READING
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RandomSome thoughts that I can't tell him. If someone reads this(I don't think that will happen) I'm sorry for typos. First of all English isn't my first language and second, I just wrote this down without much thinking. I just wrote down how I felt.
