dreams & schemes

April 3

4-3

Esmae was up most of the night. I was able to get a solid 20 minutes of sleep. Esmae managed to sleep for about an hour, which is certainly a good nights sleep compared to mine! I'm used to it so it's ok. She's had a bad cold for a week and had a high fever since yesturday. I hope she gets better soon, because I don't know how much longer I can handle doing double the chores after getting so little sleep.  Esmae's lonely, I know she is. She longs for friends. She says I'm her friend and she's mine too. We're all eachother has, but I know she wishes she had a real friend her age to play with, afterall I am 6 years older than her. I consider you my friend, my best friend really. You listen to me. My parents hated me so much they put me in a barrel and floated me down the river the first chance they got, and to Thomas all I am is his slave. Thomas says I should be grateful he found me floating in the river and was genorous enough to give me a home. I am grateful, I really am, but I'm jealous also. jealous of the girls in my books, who have loving parents.  I love books! I know I'm lucky Thomas found me that day, but sometimes I like to imagine if a nice young couple had found me and I could have a loving family, a nice house, real toys, and a pet dog! Thomas says my imagination is too big and I need to focus on the real world. Speaking of Thomas I have to feed the goats, mop the kitchen, finish the dishes, get my schoolwork done, and check on Esmae before he gets home from town or I'll be sorry, so I better go. Thanks for always being there for me.