an occuring theme. / horror one shots

his love named jen.

He watches from afar.
He wouldn't dare come in contact with her, scared he would ruin her perfection with his grotesque form. To ruin what he truly believed was an angel from heaven. But what heaven would produce such blinding beauty, he asked himself.

He only knew about his love a year ago. Before that, he was beyond suicidal: a mere ghost. He was disgusting. He hated himself. From his filthy mind to his ugly appearance, there was nothing that was appealing about him. He had no friends, no family (who cared, anyway) and no-one who loved him. He had nothing to live for. His desire to continue through this blur was dim. Until he met her. Yet not met, stalked. Admired from afar, never coming into contact with the star who was named Jen. 3 simple letters that was now the boy's only living reason. Jen.

People may describe her as the stereotypical popular, rich girl : has amazing scores, kind to everyone. Every girl wanted to be her and every boy wanted to be with her. But the boy said to hell with that. Stereotyping his heart into some other plain, boring girl. There were millions of girls like those who were described but none like Jen. She was a one of a kind - a diamond in the rough.

The boy never came into contact with Jen: in fact, he was sure that she didn't know of his existence. For the better, anyway - the less she knew about the abomination, the more purity she would retain. He would just watch and admire her in her full form. Whatever she was doing, however she looked, she was always perfect. When she was angry, her blood would be boiling, he drooled. How could one look so beautiful expressing such an ugly emotion?

Sometimes, the boy even felt envious of all Jen had. But as soon as he had these thoughts he would stop and drown himself in self-loathing thoughts.
"How could I feel that towards Jen?"
Love is the only feeling he should feel towards her.

But what was admiration turned quickly to obsession.

He would wake up and pray to God, even though he wasn't religious, and always said the same thing.
"Thank you for blessing me with such a heavenly creature."

He wouldn't eat breakfast. In fact, the boy didn't eat at all. Not because he chose to but because Jen was the only thought, feeling and word he was to ever experience. Hunger was never thought about. Neither was hygiene. The boy never showered, never changed his clothes, never brushed his teeth. He saw no point in taking care of his decaying body. It was an eye sore. He was an eye sore.

When walking to school, he would purposefully get there 30 minutes early and hide behind a tree opposite the school. He knew for a fact that Jen's car always drove past and he would be the first to get a glimpse at the angel. It always brought him deep satisfaction. Not sexual: never sexual.
Sexual feelings towards Jen was just as disgusting to him as himself. Sexualising such a beauty was a grave sin, a breach of unspoken laws.

He would follow her around for lunch and even skip lessons just to watch her outside of her classroom. He would always, of course, be very careful to never be noticed. Not because of embarrassment but for Jen's benefit of ever seeing something so vile.

So, the boy continued this routine for a year. Everything, in his mind, was bliss. He got to admire his love every day. Until one unfortunate day.
So, the boy was going about his daily routine, it was about lunch and he was waiting outside of Jen's classroom, 14 feet away.
However, he didn't realise her Science class was moved 3 doors down, right outside where he boy was waiting. He was too engrossed on what expression Jen would be wearing when she would emerge from her classroom. The bell rang and Jen's Science class door opened. The boy realised his mistake and tries to scramble away, bumping into someone in the process.
It was Jen.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" She spoke.
He was tore in half: bewildered by her voice, ringing like a choir. And the shame, the utter shame the boy was now overcome with. She was tarnished. She had seen him.
Tears welled up in the boy's eyes. He ran out of the hallway without speaking a word to his love.
He decided he couldn't do it anymore. Jen was ruined because of him. She had to lay her pure eyes onto his vile presence.

He stood on top of the school roof and looked down seeing no-one. All the people who cared about him, in his entire life, were below. He was all alone. He took a step forward and felt the cold breeze blow through his matted hair. He took another step and fell. He screamed. Not in pain, but in clarity. Clarity that now she was never to see him again.

*A/N: I feel like I went too dark but oh well. this was inspired by the song creep by radiohead