PICTURESQUE. | MYG

xii

Yoongi hasn't been this nervous in a while. He finds it ludicrous how he can perform in front of people by the millions, but he's so, so, so anxious to see only one person. And that person happens to be six years old.

And his daughter.

His stomach churns with something along the lines of nausea mixed with butterflies. He's still not used to it, though he has known about Soomi for some time now. He has known, and he, quite frankly, cannot shut up about her. Obviously he has kept his lips sealed to the public so as not to start utter chaos in the PR department, but to those he can trust, Soomi is his main topic of discussion. Hoseok in particular gets the majority of the babbling about how entirely perfect Soomi is, and he patiently listens and encourages Yoongi to talk about her.

He can see how hard Yoongi is trying to make up for lost time, how much he wants to be in her life and get to know her—so even when Yoongi tells him for the fifth time that Soomi's favorite color is turquoise, he smiles, nods, and acts like he's never heard it before.

Now, Yoongi is outside an unfamiliar apartment, with an unfamiliar feeling of nerves and anxiety and excitement. He lifts his hand, brings it towards the door, painted a burgundy color. He knocks. His hand shakes, but he feels his entire body freeze when the door swings open a few seconds later—and there you are. Hair a mess and cheeks flushed, a smile on your face, the first genuine one he has seen on you in a while. The smile that makes his pent up anger dissipate like chocolate melting on his tongue.

"Hey. Me and Soomi just had some intense tickle fights." You say, gesturing to your blushing face and crazy hair. "Come on in." You open door wider. The hesitation and guilt you had felt the last time Yoongi saw you seems to have taken the back seat today, and he doesn't know how to handle you acting normal. Nothing about this is normal, as much as Yoongi hates to admit it. Though he has no problem with being civil with you, maybe even friendly with you if he's in a good mood, how nonchalant you're acting makes him uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, Yoongi manages half a smile, and leans down to pick up a long black bag from the floor. You raise an eyebrow, eyeing the bag, but then your skeptical gaze softens as you realize. Yoongi lugs the big bag into your apartment, looking around for a place to put it down. He settles for a spot on the wall next to Soomi's toy kitchen he knows she loves so much.

"You brought a piano?" You ask, watching as Yoongi kneels next to the bag. His lithe fingers unzip it to reveal the instrument, a digital keyboard.

"Yeah. I told her I'd teach her to play. Seems like something fun we can do together, y'know?" He says simply, removing the keyboard, along with the stand, a foldable bench and some cords. "When I went to the store the guy said it was the best one they had. I wanted to get a grand piano, but those things are ginormous and I didn't want the piano to eat your living room. Plus you have to get those tuned every once in a while, and buy a humidifier and shit like that. Those are nicer, but this is something she can learn well on—"

"It's perfect." You interrupt his nervous rambling. Yoongi stops setting up the piano to look up at you. "She's gonna love it." He didn't even realize he was blabbering for so long, didn't even realize the unbearable nerves he was feeling outside the apartment had carried over to this moment. He breaks eye contact with you, diverting his eyes to the floor in slight embarrassment. Just by looking at you, he can tell you know how nervous he is, and you do.

You can see how hard he's trying to be in Soomi's life. You recognize how much he wants to be a father figure to her, how much he cares about her. You see how important this is to him, how stressed he is about making everything perfect, and it makes your cold, stubborn heart ache for this man, but also swell with hatred for yourself. You did this to him. Had you contacted him all those years ago, told him the truth, told Sejun the truth—things would be so much different. Yoongi wouldn't be worried about creating meaningful experiences to share with his daughter, because he would have been around her whole life. He would have shared the naturally meaningful moments that come with raising a child and watching one grow up. If you had just done the right thing, everything would be so much less difficult for him. You're the one causing him so much unnecessary pain.