PICTURESQUE. | MYG

xiii

"Hello?" The deep voice on the other end of the line answered. Sejun picked up on the fifth ring, as if he had taken his time deliberating whether or not to answer your call. Apprehension was evident in his voice. It had been months, but he was still uncomfortable with you, and you didn't blame him.

"Sejun, hey." You reply awkwardly, unsure of how to go about doing this.

"Is everything okay? Is Soomi?" Sejun asks, and your heart contracts—he thinks the only reason you'd call him would be because something is wrong, and that stings a bit.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Soomi's perfect." You say, and blurt out you reason for calling before losing your nerve: "Can we talk? In person?"

There's a pregnant pause, and you hold your breath involuntarily. You don't know what scares you more, the fact that he didn't deny you immediately or the fact that you don't want him to. It took you a long time to work up the courage to even call, let alone see him.

The decision had been prompted by Yoongi. Rather, prompted by Soomi's insistence on Yoongi attending her birthday party the following week. After her first two piano lessons with Yoongi, the girl was even more attached to Yoongi than she was before. No matter how hard you tried to subtly hint that it might not be a good idea for Sejun and Yoongi to be in the same place, you couldn't sway her. The only way to change her mind would be to outright explain everything, and you couldn't do that to her. You couldn't tell her that her dad isn't really her dad, not yet. Another secret you intended to keep, but one that Sejun also agreed Soomi was not ready for.

"Yeah. We should. I think it's time." Sejun finally replies, and you release your breath, smiling to yourself in relief.

You talk details with Sejun for a minute before hanging up, and only then does the second wave of anxiety hit you—you're going to see him. You're going to look the poor man in the eye, after all of the things you've done. Yoongi may have been at fault with you, but Sejun had done nothing wrong at all. Sejun had done nothing but be good to you and your daughter, and you repaid him by lying and cheating. The more you think about it, the less you want to go.

But you refuse to let yourself back out. If you are going to be a better person, you need to start by facing your problems head-on. And this was the first real test of the personal growth you'd been attempting to achieve these past few months by going to counseling and therapy. As much as you don't want to do it, you know you need to, not just for yourself, but for Soomi.

And for Yoongi. Each time he visits for piano lessons and quality time with Soomi, you see how absolutely in love he is with his little girl. It melts your heart to see Yoongi like that, and you know how much it would mean to him if he would be allowed to come to her birthday party. Asking Sejun was the least you could do, as Yoongi hadn't been around for any of Soomi's past birthdays.

So, on the behalf of Soomi, Yoongi, and yourself, you meet Sejun at a park. It's neutral and public, and you bring Soomi, figuring it might be good for her to see her parents together after such a long time apart, watching her while she plays. Though you and Sejun are technically together in relativity, you couldn't feel further apart. Sejun seems worlds away, mind clearly thinking hard about something unknown to you. It's awkward, but you don't rush anything, until Sejun speaks: "How are you?" Three small words that do little to ease your internal panic, but you'll take them.

"I'm good. How have you been?" You ask, glancing at him nervously. Sejun shrugs.

"Good." He says.

"That's good." You say.

"Yeah. Good." He says again. Small talk was never your strong suit, which was why it was so easy for you to talk to Yoongi. He never spoke without meaning behind his words, never spoke just to fill the silence, like you and Sejun are now. Your eyes return to Soomi, who's playfully swinging from the monkey bars. "She's getting so big." You voice what you're both thinking as you watch her.