Broken (Ziall)

 Warning: This story deals with abuse and some self harm. If you cannot handle it, please don't read it.

    I hugged my knees closer to my chest as I listened to the heavy foot steps go down the stairs, away from me. I sighed in relief as I heard the front door close. Dad leaving at this time probably meant that he'd be going to the local pub and getting drunk.

 I'm not sure which version of dad i perfered. Both were violent, although drunk dad might be worse. You see, my dad, my current and only gaurdian is usually angry. He's just mad at life and me. Why? Well two years ago, my mum, his wife died.

 She died in a car accident. 

It was roughly about two years since then. It was my birthday. Mum had went to go buy me a cake at the local bakery even though I told her not to. I thought I was to old for that. Well, she was driving to the bakery when I called her. I didn't think much of it since tons of people drove while talking on there phones. 

Well, my mum wasn't one of the people who could. I distracted her. I called her to try to convince her not to buy be a silly cake, which she argued against saying that you can never get to old for cake. Well all of a sudden I heard a piercing scream through the phone, that'll I'll never forget. I can still hear it today, it just keeps playing over and over in my head. 

After I heard her scream, I started panicking. I called out to her but all I heard was noise. I screamed, calling her name each time louder then the last. 

I called my dad and told him what happened. He ran out that door so fast. So I followed close behind him. 

I'll never forget the sight that I had witnessed. Blood was everywhere. On the paramedics who were trying to help mum, on the floor, and car. The metalic scent was nauseating. I ran to the scene. Mum's once black sleek car was ruined. You could barley even see that it was in fact a car. 

The paramadics and arrived five minutes after the car accident, getting a called by someone who was walking past. They had managed to get mum out. 

Blood covered her face and she had glass stuck in her arms and her right leg was smushed completly. It was my fault and I knew it. I didn't mean too. 

I had looked over to my dad who was speaking to someone, tears running down his face. As sensing my gaze, he turned around, his eyes turning cold. 

He stormed towards me, both of his fists clenched. 

"You killed her!" He screamed. I remember just how scared I was. Little did I know that, that would only get worse. He'd get worse. 

I remember me running, as fast as I could. I had to get away. Everyone would blame me, well of course they would, since this was all my fault. 

I shut my eyes tightly holding back tears. I didn't like thinking about that day, but it wasn't easy to forget it since dad reminded me of it everyday. 

I crawled to the bathroom, wincing every once in awhile, as I put pressure on my bruises that I had gotten yesterday. I stood up slowly, biting my lip from the pain that had built in my stomach.

I grabbed my razor and slowly pressed it against my lower wrist. I dragged the sharp metal across my skin, causing blood to began making its way out of my body. 

I sighed and leanded against the wall. I deserved to be in pain. I deserved it all. I stared at the small puddle of blood and smiled. Dad would enjoy this, he'd enjoy the fact that I hated myself so much, that'd I hurt myself too.

I knew I deserved the pain.I grabbed my once white rag that's now a browish color from the stained blood. I wiped my cut and slowly washed off the dry blood. I got wet paper towels and washed off the floor.