Saved

future, past, & present

*She wrote this after it happened, and it has the times because she noted most of the significant times down on her hand.*

I ran outside and over to your house and was banging on your door (in only my pajamas might I add, that was not warm Josh) because the scream sounded so close and it sounded so real. 

Suddenly I stopped banging only to realize that someone else was banging on the other side of the door with me. The banging stopped a couple of seconds after I did. 

Then a note was slid under the door.

It was in your hand writing and it said ‘Are you okay?’ 

Josh.

I’ve called you an idiot.

I’ve called you a jerk.

I’ve called you an asshole,

sometimes when I wanted to annoy you after you annoyed me I’d call you a bitch.

But right at that moment, I wanted to call you EVERY SINGLE RUDE NAME I HAVE EVER CALLED YOU because asking ARE YOU OKAY after staying in your house, maybe even your room for the past 7 DAYS without contacting me or communicating with me at ALL is NOT OKAY. 

AND YOU ASKING ME IF I AM OKAY AFTER PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT GUILT TRIP, THAT CRYING FRENZY, AND PRACTICALLY THE LONELIEST PART OF MY LIFE—IS NOT OKAY. 

I actually imagined that your parents were saying you were handling a break up when really they sent you off to some military camp because they found out about all of the times we snuck out!

Or that maybe you were becoming a werewolf and your parents didn’t know what to do so they locked you in the garage! 

OR, OR, OR I HAD SO MANY RANDOM THEORIES AS TO WHY YOU HATED ME AND WEREN’T TALKING TO ME. 

I read the message sent under the door about 20 times making sure I was seeing it right since I wasn’t wearing my contacts. You knocked on the door and I remembered that you were there and I started to laugh. 

I literally just started to laugh 80 year old Josh, it sounds so completely random to do at this strange moment of my life but to me it made perfect sense.

Your stupid girlfriend broke up with you on Facebook but she didn’t really break up with you she broke up with me I guess, even though to have a conversation there has to be two people and she talked with herself...

So she broke up with herself. 

Your stupid computer decided to completely freeze at the exact moment that Fiona threatened to break up with you.

And then YOU decide to ask me AM I OKAY?? 

After I hear a SCREAM come from your HOUSE? 

I was now leaning on your door holding my stomach, my seagull cries echoing the streets.

By seagull cries I mean laughs by the way, 80 year old Josh I hope you didn’t forget that that’s how I laugh. If you did then you’re welcome, I reminded you of the unpleasant sound that is my laugh.

But I don’t care because everything is funny now. 

Josh I don’t know why I was so broken when you weren’t talking to me.

I mean it was only a week I guess. But it wasn’t that you were on vacation and you weren’t able to talk to me, it was that you ignored me and decided not to talk to me. That’s what hurt me.