Your Eyes Look Like Helix nebula🌌

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Dear M,
My mother always says that I am wrong person. During that 9 months when I was in her belly I was sitting backwards and they didn't know if I was girl or boy. Then I was born and became more wrong. And my wrongness doesn't only exspress in the fact that I always hold the glass with back of my hand or that I usually start the work from backwards. I do everything wrong.
Yesterday I was thinking about that I am different with you. When I see you and return home and write something you can feel the young spirit , full of life and interest, who enjoys understanding people and listening to their worries. But most of all wants to enter your goddamn mind and understand your hidden thoughts.
And the second is: the more serious one who watches the details and can spend hours in the depths of nature. And in that moment my writings are nostalgic and full of missing someone or something.
I also think about what I do not think and why I don't even think about it.
You are always telling me to don't overthink things. It's easier to live like that and less painful,- you say. And I respond: do you know how beautiful it is to walk down streets and think about every single passerby? I imagine how are they feeling or what makes them happy or sad, do they miss someone? Are they madly in love? Or are they just existing with empty hearts?
I get lost in these thoughts and I am always forgetting where the imagination begins and where the reality ends. I don't try to make life easier, I keep making it complicated but interesting. I don't think it is bad if I give way to my imagination, but I will not go any futher.
Or if I go, would you stop me?
But yeah, sometimes I really regret that I think too much. When i crawl back to you at midnight crying like a little baby because I imagined that I lost you and I stood alone in darkness helplessly. You make me shush and tell me : " go to sleep. Why do you tear yourself apart? Think less you'll be happier. If I was going to leave you , I would do it long time ago. "
Why are you the only one who can make me feel safe and hopeful even in the dark times?
So many unresonable thoughts in my mind. They are falling like a comet. Isn't it paradox? When I don't worry about serious problems and easily find ways to solve it, but the absurd fears and imaginaton tear me apart?
I am such a overthinker, I can't help it.
But this time will pass like others did.
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