Wistful Declarations

Belonging #2

So . . . .

sometimes I feel like I’m an unloved toy;

a piece of a puzzle but from a different box.

everyday

I see people with their friends.

I thought maybe they smiled too much,

but it might just be that I frown too often . . .

I felt like I needed to be someone I’m not,

so that I could finally fit in someplace.

I tried hiding,

putting on a mask.

but I hated seeing the person in my reflection

because I knew I was better than that.

and it pained me to know

that I was faking my identity

for someone else –

just so I could feel like I belonged.

then I had a kind-of epiphany.

I realised I’d been hopelessly blinded,

by this toxic idea

to be someone I’m not.

that I didn’t see it wasn’t worth it,

and that I could be enough just as I am.

I no longer wanted to be this fake person,

wearing a false persona to be classified as normal.

I didn’t want to stay like that, I didn’t want to fit.

I vowed that I would change.

that I would try to do something,

I didn’t have to nerve to do before . . .

and be myself.

You Only Live Once

but if you do it right

once is enough.