the pain of love

Chapter 1

Prologue
A few years back there was this beautiful girl. Long brown hair, beautiful deep brown eyes, a pretty face and a great body. She always smiled, always helpt people and always cared to much. But there was something wrong with her 'cause she always hid her skin underneath long clothing, even with the sun shining and great weather she wore long sleeves. Why nobody knew but they didn't really care cause they thought she was more comfortable that way. What they didn't know was that it was for a whole different reason.

Xamira's pov

Today was just another day as always on a Monday. Waking up at 6am, taking a shower and going to school. I just woke up, getting slowly out bed and dragging myself to the bathroom. As i stripped out of my pj's while waiting for the water to heat up. I took something out of the jewelry box i had and stepped into the shower. As i let the water fall on my face i slid the small object over my arm causing my arm to bleed. You all are probably aware that the object what i took out was a razor blade. After i slid my arms a few times more i cleaned it and putted it away. I then quickly washed my hair and got out. Drying myself quickly i walked back pulling some black skinny jeans and a blue long sleeved crop top. When i was done with that i started to blow dry my hair. While doing so i got lost into thought. 'why is it that nobody notices my fake smiles? Or to why i only wear long clothing, never going out for a swim with friends?'. There went so many more thoughts through my mind that i didn't noticed someone walking into my room, and that my hair was already dry. I jumped as someone suddenly tapt on my shoulder. Looking up i saw my best friend with who i share an apartment with. "gosh you scared me Izy". Izy is her nickname her full name is Isabella, how it ended up in Izy i dont know. She laughed a little and shook her head "oh dear your easy to scare, but you get lost to easily in your own little world". I smiled sheepishly and asked her what I should do with my hair. "just let it loose it looks good on you". Nodding i stood up from my position in front off my body mirror and hugged her like there is no tomorrow. 'I love her, she is like my sister. Family that really care. And she is also the only one who knows my problems' i thought. "hey you ready? We gotta go soon" Izy asked me. "yea I'm almost done, let me put my make up real quick" as i said that i let go and sat back down in front of the mirror. Using a concealer to cover a few visible scars, putting some eye shadow, eyeliner on and a matt brown lipstick. In the mean time went Isabella down stairs to make breakfast. As i went downstairs i noticed that some blood was dripping down my arm 'great' i thought and walked back to our bathroom. Cleaning the cut and bandaging it up and pulled down my sleeve. Going downstairs again. "Izy! Am done!" i screamed and walked to the dining room sitting down. I looked at both plates. "great and dear you really need to eat breakfast" Izy said as i shook my head. "but i dont feel hungry as do i not see the need to eat...". She sighed giving up knowing I wouldn't eat not even a bite. 'Im still to fat, to heavy, am still not perfect, don't even like my body or anything about myself'. As i sat there waiting till she was done eating did i continue reading my book the city off bones. 'i still don't get how clary fell so fast in love with him or how you could even feel those things'. Izy slammed down her hands on the table as she finished eating. This movement didn't faze me at all. I closed my book and got up walking towards our hallway. Picking up my backpack "ya coming babe?". Opening the door i waited till she came rushing towards me. "yea yea am here and it's just babe as sister" she rolled her eyes at me as i laughed. "i know i know just messing around a bit". She nodded and we started walking to our car. Close by the car i felt uneasy. It felt like i was forgetting something. Izy stepped into the car as i sort of sprinted back to check everything. We just forgot to lock the front door. After locking it i still was feeling uneasy as i got into the car.