She was born blind. Isabel had always wanted to see what the world was like if it were colored. She heard her siblings talk about color but she never really understood what it meant. She never knew what was red, yellow, or blue except that people kept calling them primary colors. She learned that from these three, all the other colors were born. She hoped she could understand. Well at least there was one that she knew so well. Black.
"Isabel!"
A frantic voice shut out from the kitchen door that she could never mistake to be her mother's.
"Isabel!"
The voice was getting louder now.
"Yes,mother!" Isabel called out before her mother could shout any louder and wake up whoever it was that was still sleeping in the house. After all, it couldn't be six o'clock in the morning yet. She hasn't heard the grandfather clock's alarm.
"Isabel! Goodness, child! Where have you been? I have been all over the house looking for you."
Mathilde was known in their village for her sharp tongue and merciless reprimands to anyone who dares to go against her will. But beneath that toughness, everyone knew that there was someone who can soften the hard heart.. Her darling, Isabel.
"Don't worry mother. You know I wont go far. Not on my own." Isabel said, trying to calm her mother who was now standing right in front of her.
"But it's too early to be out here child. It's too cold. The sun hasn't even risen yet." Mathilde tried to hide her worry but she could never stop thinking about how helpless Isabel can be when she was left alone.
"Oh, yes mother! The sun! I wanted to come out here before it starts to rise. I want to feel it."
"Oh, Isabel. You could have told me. I could have come out here with you."
"It's alright mother. I know the way. Besides, I'm not too far. I can always call you when I'm in trouble."
Mathilde had to smile. Isabel was always independent. She loved learning things on her own and she never stops learning! Mathilde knew that she could trust her. She knew she could trust her more than anyone else. Reluctantly, she traced her steps back to the house and with a last look on her daughter, she closed the door behind her.
Isabel Forthwick was born on a cold night of December at the back of the family truck. Mathilde and her husband, David Forthwick have been out on the field all day tending to the cows and their blueberry harvest. Mathilde was eight months pregnant then but she never stopped working. She always never did until her baby was due. In her previous pregnancies, it was never a problem. It was different with this last baby. While David was milking the cows, her water broke. She thought it was nothing thinking that it was too early for her child to be born. Then the pain came. It was so terrible, she knew she'd never felt it before. The first thing that came was panic.
"David! David!" Mathilde called to her husband frantically. "David! The baby's coming!" She shouted even louder now. Still, her husband did not come.
It was on that night that David Forthwick committed the biggest sin in his life.
David was an adventurous man. Before he and Mathilde married, he was a ship captain. He loved travelling and exploring new places. He used to be the best ship captain in Ireland. He seldom went home for years and when he did, the longest he could stay was about a month. It broke his mothers heart, but it made his father proud. David was a man full of dreams, excited to conquer the world.. Until he fell in love.
They met in one of his trips to England. When David first laid his eyes on Mathilde, he knew he would stay.
It was a whirlwind romance. They were young and so in love. It didn't take long for them to decide to marry. Unlike other couples, their romance did not die after marriage. They instantly had children and their family was always happy.
But when the fifth child came, David started to feel a void. He had always been happy coming home to their humble sanctuary, smelling his wife's dish from the kitchen as he enters the house. One day, everything changed. He hated going home to the same dinner of corn soup and baked potatoes. He used to find farming amusing but soon he looked at it as a dirty game in the mud. He used to love hearing the laughter of his children early in the morning but suddenly he wanted them to stop. David knew what was happening. The ship captain within him was beginning to rise. He wanted adventure again.
When he found out that Mathilde was pregnant, he couldn't take it any longer. He had to run away. He belongs in the sea and to his adventures. He couldn't believe that he was able to stay as a farm boy for eight years.
The night that Isabel was born was a night of independence for his father. That night, David left his family for good.
---
On the back of the truck, Mathilde held her baby in her arms. It was the most painful delivery. She was alone. She knew David was gone. She felt it. She felt something was wrong. She knew that he would soon leave them. And Mathilde was prepared. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't. That night, she became the strongest woman in the family.
---
My mother's voice startled me.
I wanted it to be quiet.. Even just for a moment.. To be left alone in my thoughts.
Why can't they see that?
I wish I could just run from this place..
I wish I could leave.. Just like my father.
