Being Bad

Chapter 35: It's Not A Party Without Any Drama

Lia James

I can't seem to remember the last time I tried avoiding someone. Actually, to be quite honest, I don't think it's ever happened. My high school was divided into a social hierarchy. At the bottom, Goths and Emos, then we're the band geeks/theater freaks, then the cheerleaders (which is was surprises me the most), the 'middle class', basically people who were popular but not that popular, the f-boys, and then at top were all the jocks, boys and girls.

But the point is that all the jocks would talk to the other jocks, and same goes for every single level in the social hierarchy. No one even thinks about going beyond their comfort zone, and talking to someone they didn't expect to talk to. It drove me insane, how difficult these stereotypes were to break up.

So, when I moved to California, I promised myself not only a new beginning, but a new way of life. I was done with living the 'Boring and Ugly Girl' life. I wanted to pursue more towards the 'Nice Girl Who Talks to Everyone'. That's partially why I went on that date with Ian. Just because I was friends with popular jocks, doesn't mean I would stick inside that bubble. I wanted to branch out and meet all different types of people.

Ian was definitely someone who caught my eyes when I first met him. When he accidentally collided just about a month ago, he was very apologetic and sincere. Ian Rivers is a softie, whether or not he admits it, and that's what I adore most about him. He doesn't want to hide his emotions, he wants to spill all of them out. Release them from their bottle and lay it all out on the table, regardless of rejection.

This all became increasingly prominent on our date yesterday, that actually went quite well. We bonded over the small things, and enjoyed each other's company as would a normal date. But this was all before he bombarded me with a question that could possibly change everything.

Now, I've promised myself to never look at the negative side of things, ever since my mother passed, but I can't help myself. I have so many questions and thoughts.

We haven't even known each other for that long, let alone feel comfortable enough to stand each other in a relationship. Relationships are far too complex and confusing, and it's something that can't be in my head right now.

I'm a Senior in high school. It's November 24th, 2019. There's only seven months of high school left until we have to graduate at the beginning of June. Then, everyone is forced to pack their bags and be separate from one another, possibly never seeing each other again. So, what? I'll be forced to break up with Ian due to us wanting different paths? It's seems all too difficult to go through with then just saying no to a relationship.

I've applied to Boston College, also known as my dream school, because they sent me an email and told me they were interested in me possibly playing softball there. It became my ultimate ever since.

I've always wanted to play softball in college, possibly off a scholarship. If I do, there's no way I'm passing off an opportunity as large as that. Plus, with Boston College being in the same region as Maine, I'll be able to see my Dad a few times and even go home for breaks regularly, rather than spending my allowance on a plane ticket that I barely have enough for as it is. It's not worth the risk.

Plus, who knows where Ian is going to be after he graduates? I hate to say it, but a relationship just doesn't seem like the right time right now. Maybe in college, when I'm not stressing about scholarships, but definitely not right now. Not when everything it out on the line.

Ian's saddened look when I mustered up the courage to tell him I needed to think about it painted a perfect picture in my mind. It destroyed me, having to keep Ian in the dark for a while, but I had to think about what I had to say before I semi-broke his heart. I just needed time.