i truly think i feel more deeply than most others. why must everyone hate me? it is more of they hate the idea of me. they make up vicious lies to paint me as if i was a monster. sometimes i feel as if i am in a nightmare or some sort of blur. no one truly seems to understand the pain that i feel so casually. i feel as if my whole so called "world" is just falling apart and the debris hits me in places i do not understand. it comes in spurts. one minute i am sitting, staring into space, then all of a sudden a wave of loneliness and discomfort rides over me. i try and try to get it out of my head, or to scare it away with my self destructive thoughts, but it only makes it worse. it creates a whirlwind of so many emotions at once, to a point to where my heart physically hurts. then boom. the emptiness slowly creeps in dulling, yet sharpening the pain. why must things be this way..? i wish for sanctuary.. for love, for a home. but it seems that i am not made for those.- end?
