Let It Burn (ENGLISH)

1

When the last speech finally ends, I look towards our fire chief. My conscience is killing me because I'm really sorry for what I've done. I yelled at him, I told him that it's all his fault and now he's here. At a group therapy.

I approach him with shyness as he pours himself some weird looking tea. We talk for a bit and even though it's a really short conversation, I don't miss a chance to embarrass myself because otherwise it wouldn't be me. But it almost looks that Chief Ripley doesn't really mind. We laugh at my awkwardness and we continue in our conversation.

When he talks, I'm drowning in his beautiful blue eyes which are blue like the ocean and I don't care about anything else. I only see his eyes. I catch myself thinking how great it may be if I could look at them every single day for the rest of my life. But I give myself an imaginary slap right away and I'm back in reality. What the hell was that, Victoria?

Ripley is looking at me with a nice warm gaze and I realize that he is waiting for my answer. Answer to his question I didn't hear because I was too busy daydreaming about our imaginary future. Good job, girl. You're going to look like an even bigger fool than before.

I bite my lip and I give him a confused look.

"Sorry. What did you ask? I haven't quite heard you, the music's too loud in here," I word vomit first thing that comes into my mind. And then I realize I'm talking gibberish again. Music is too loud? At a group therapy? You're a freakin' genius, Hughes.

When I start thinking how to immigrate to Mexico as quick as possible, just to avoid seeing him ever again, he softly looks into my eyes and he smiles. He ignores my stupid excuse and repeats his question like a true gentleman.

"Can we go for a coffee? My treat." His eyes stare at me like I'm the only interesting subject in the room. My brain is on a vacation somewhere in the clouds so I can't think straight and I embarrass myself once again. I say something that could get me fired.

"Like... On a date?" I cough and I see Ripley blushing. He runs his hand through his gorgeous blonde hair. How am I supposed to concentrate when he looks like that?

"No... Of course not." He shrugs with a nervous look on his face. By this time I'm already completely in love with him. What is wrong with me? I can't fall in love with him! He's my boss' boss' boss, this just can't end well. But maybe I'm just lying to myself. I'm not in love with him, I'm just having my stupid PMS symptoms. I have to stay calm.

"Of course... I'm so sorry, I..." I start but Ripley interrupts me.

"That's okay, Hughes. I apologize," he says as he nervously plays with his mug.

I have to think straight. What could possibly happen if I accept this invite? I'll probably embarrass myself even more if that's even possible. But at least I can deal with my feeling and find out how I actually feel because now I just feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest really soon.

And then I realize I've waited for this feeling for years. I'm falling in love for the first time. I thought I've already experienced it multiple times but this is completely different. I'm feeling sick but also very nice and I don't want this feeling to pass. My ears are humming and my lungs are out of oxygen. I could say Ripley really took my breath away.

He looks into my eyes again waiting for my answer. My heart is beating too fast and I almost give my feelings away.

"I'd like to go, chief." I shrug and act like I don't care. Well played, Hughes. Good job.

I smile at him so I don't look like I don't care at all but it probably looks really stupid because I'm nervous of the lump in my throat which appeared as Ripley smiled at me.

His soft smile triggers a wave of feelings in me and I suddenly feel unbelievably sick.

"Excuse me for a second." I turn and run away to the ladies' room. I close the door and I kneel upon the toilet bowl. I give in to that horrible gag reflex and I let my body to deal with all the stress in its own way. Then I sit next to the bowl and I rest my head upon my palms. This is bad. If anyone finds out about my feeling for him, my career could die. Just like that. He's my boss' boss' boss'.

My body is shivering and my head is full of random pieces of our conversation. It's a mess. I'm a mess. Ripley is a really fine man, everyone would admit that, but I'm feeling something that is far far beyond than just liking him. What I'm feeling now is the deepest feeling I've ever felt. I finally know what falling in love feels like. I'm finally in love. But I'm in love with the wrong person.