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"SEHA!"
sehwi clung onto her older sister as if she was seven years old again rather than seventeen. despite knowing jeong seha would come, sehwi was genuinely surprised to see her sister early tuesday morning. in the middle of july, seha was paler than she was last time she came home during winter break. sehwi wasn't even that tanned, but beside her sister she looked as if she spent hours everyday under the sun. her hair, colored a lighter, warmer brown that welcomed the summer season. sehwi couldn't tell if it got longer or if she cut it shorter during the 6 months she was gone.
sehwi buried her face into her sister's neck, so deep she could almost smell the city. it was soothing. her sister was only two years older than her, but around her she felt like a baby. and living in the house as the only child wasn't at all comforting. her embrace was so tight that seha almost fell over with all of her bags still in her hand. "get off of me, nasty." seha spoke in a half commanding half joking tone, and sehwi jumped off immediately with a laugh. seha finally released her grip from her luggages. "where's mom and dad?"
"i think they're still sleeping." sehwi brought her voice down to a slight whisper. it didn't help anything considering how loud she shouted her sister's name only a few minutes earlier. she could tell that her sister was trying to sneak in without anyone noticing, but the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway emitting from outside of her window didn't help.
it was still early — early enough for the sky to be lit up in only a dark periwinkle, but not early enough for everyone else to start their day of work. the summer haze of the night was still thick and blanketed itself among the asphalt roads. this time of day made everyone forget that it was summer, as the humid, sea-sprinkled air and the sunshine warming your face was no longer, but instead promised the smell of dew and the comfort of a full moon. this time of day was sehwi's favorite.
sehwi spent her time in her sister's room until the sun rose. she wanted to know everything; about her friends, about how school was treating her, if she had any boyfriends or girlfriends. and they couldn't run out of anything to talk about. the city brought something new everyday.
when their parents woke up, they couldn't help but notice the sound of the old radio and shared laughs between sweet sisters spilling into the hallway like an overflowing sink. their mother held her oldest child so tight, she could only breathe the warmth of a mother's touch, and their father had love in his eyes, turning on the crunch of billie holiday's god bless the child to flow throughout the whole house.
⚘
THE AFTERNOON hours, the sisters spent in the backyard, were lush with abundant sun and calm sounds. the younger sat in the dappled light beneath the peach tree and picked the ripest fruits, furry and blushed, to eat, while the other laid in the grass painting her toenails a shade of red labelled vintage rose. sehwi basked herself in the freshness that was the afternoon: the frantic rattle of cicadas, the singing birds, the smell of the neighbor's laundry, the big bite in the rounded cheeks of her peach, the sway of the arborvitaes lined across the fence. sounds that she knew and grew up to but always greeted as if they were new acquaintances every year. sounds of summer.
sat on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water were jungha and jeongguk, closely knitted shoulder to shoulder and their toes caressing each other's beneath the surface. for the third day since summer break started, the couple was at sehwi's house again. jungha wanted to come over and give seha a warm welcome home. and of course wherever jungha went, jeongguk went too. she was quite close with seha, sometimes hung around her whenever she was with her sister. the two were close enough to know almost everything about each other, but still kept their secrets unknown. jungha was practically seha's second younger sister.
and so like seha's actual younger sister, jungha asked her about her life in seoul. but unlike her actual younger sister, she asked about the type of parties she was going to, if the people were more fun over there than in ulsan (even though she knew that the answer was most likely yes). because that was what she was looking forward to in college. instead of looking forward to the independence and the growth during that tender college age, she looked forward to parties. fun.
so she was captivated when she was told a story about a girl seha hooked up with at one of the end-of-the-semester parties she attended. sehwi listened in while pretending not to, finishing her peach and sucking the pit before throwing it somewhere on the grass. jeongguk listened in as well, though not as well interested as his girlfriend. seha went on to describe a super drunk, super tattooed girl who threw up on her while making out with her, who she still continued to make out with after cleaning the both of them up. "it's hard to find other girl-loving-girls from my school so i was open to take anything i could get. and she was really pretty." jungha laughed hard at seha's remark. "i could have just hooked up with a guy that night but none of the guys at the party were cute enough."
when jungha and seha both subconsciously decided that they were going to drag on their conversation for the rest of the afternoon, jeongguk lifted his legs out of the water and dripped onto the sun-washed tiles step by step until he picked himself a fresh peach and sat himself beside sehwi on the shaded grass. sehwi could tell that he followed the advice to "pick the ones that are blushing with shame." sehwi learned that from her dad, and soon after repeated that same advice to jungha, where the boy must have gotten it from. jeongguk's peach blushed. it wasn't of shame, but of a budding timidity. his looked much more delicious and full than any of the ones sehwi have picked before.
he took a bite, emitting a heavy crunch. "i was getting a little bored." he giggled softly with peach bunched up in his cheeks.
"you'll be bored here too." sehwi said to him as she started on her second peach.
he shook his head. "i don't think so." he took another bite. "i just didn't want to keep listening to them talk about parties."
"you don't like parties?"
he shook his head again.
then it was silent. silence was something that was always lush between them. only the biting into their respective fruits and the sucking of running juice colored the moment. it was when jeongguk laid himself down on the grass, his legs still up and crossed, he would break the silence.
"what are you thinking about today?"
sehwi leaned back on her hands and looked back at him. he rolled the peach around his hands before plucking out the pit, golden juice dripping and staining his shirt, and gave it one last suck before throwing it away. she faced the front again and slid down onto her back. "not sure."
"not about the sprinklers again is it?" jeongguk quickly sat up, earning a laugh from the girl beside him, until he laid back down to her "no." he smiled.
"mmm," she thought first. "maybe about the summer? . . . yeah. about the summer. about the singing cicadas, or the peaches that i'm eating right now. or about the heat. the smell of the pie my mom made for my sister before leaving for work this morning. just little things that make summer, summer. and how it's our last at home."
silence again. this time it didn't last as long, but was broken by jungha's shout from the other side of the yard. "we're going to the lake tomorrow right?"
sehwi quickly sat up. "ah, sure. it's your favorite, too, seha, isn't it? let's go."
then she stood up, leaving jeongguk beneath the peach tree, with a bitter taste in her mouth that she tried to subdue by having another bite of the fruit in her hand. she wanted to stay beside him forever, and talk to him forever. she wanted him to always ask what she was thinking about and she wanted to always tell him what she was thinking about. but she allowed herself to leave. and so blurred in the midafternoon mist was her compunction. what she felt was compunction, because what seemed like dull conversations meant everything to her.
