A girls perspective

A girl

A girl. She's pretty. She has a lot of friends. She can hold a conversation and make some good jokes. She's a little awkward at times but she masks it with laughter. She's smart. But she isn't nice.

For the sake of this book let's call her Maria. I don't know a whole lot about Maria. Isn't it funny that you can judge someone just from a small amount of experience you've had with them. You don't know anything about how or who they really are, how they really act, what they really think. I find it a very difficult concept to grasp. Judgement. Hatred. Blame.

Maria seems like your typical funny cute teenager. Full of different emotions. Different thoughts. Everyone has different thoughts and opinions. I think it's amazing how you can take the same situation and depending on your biases you can see it so very different than someone else.

Back to Maria with her feelings and teenage thoughts. She goes to school. She plays sports. She goes home. She has a boyfriend. He's distant, but she's still trying things out. She's happy with the relationship.

They walk to class together. Hold hands. Talk a little bit. Then text when they get home. Everything seems well.

They talk about funny stuff and hold good conversations. He thinks it's working out. It's his first girlfriend. He's very awkward and shy but is trying to break out of his shell. He thinks she's the perfect way to do that. This girl with lots of friends who seems nice.

In a group chat they take pictures and send them. Some offgaurd, some on purpose. Everyone thinks they're a good couple.

This is the first red flag.

She sends pictures as some sort of need for approval. Everyone in the group chat says cute couple or awww look at Maria and Ben. She loves it.

For months they walk around school and talk. Ben has a few classes with Maria. Things are going great. A couple arguments here and there but besides that they're fine.

After a few months she gets a little sad. She wishes he were more open and not so distant. She cares about him, but she can't shake the feeling.

He's still a little distant. She wants to be closer. She wants him to care. She wants.

She starts arguments over every little thing to get his attention. He's still distant. He says " it's ok" or " I'm sorry". She doesn't want that. What does she want?

We can't answer that question yet.

A few more month go by. Things progressively get worse. She finds everything to fight about. Ben has a friend. Not the closest friend. But a good friend. This friends helps out in their relationship. She try's to tell Ben things that Maria wants to hear. They work.

Maria knows about their friendship. She doesn't know that this friend is behind a lot of good things that have happened in this relationship. She doesn't understand. Maybe she never will.

She progressively gets more angry and starts to give up. Only answering in yes and no's just to see if she can get a final rise out of Ben. She doesn't think it's over yet, but it's been too long and too much of the same thing.

In the group chat some guy keeps saying " oh Ben is texting two girls" and little subtle things like that. Each time this happens Maria gets mad. She gets madder and madder. She brings up this friend to many times to Ben. She's jealous.

She sees that Ben is active but he's not texting her. He's texting his friend. She's sad.

She never understood that maybe if she were nicer he would've talked to her more. He was a difficult person to annoy. But she did it. He was annoyed.

He was done. Done with the constant arguments. Done with the yes and no answers. Done with almost everything. But not done with her.

She finally told him to stop talking to this friend. She was starting this hatred for her. For someone she never knew. Or even tried to know.

He didn't want to but he also didn't want to lose her. He tried explaining that she was the one that helped things when they got in arguments but she didn't hear him. She wouldn't. She went deaf.

So he finally stopped talking to this friend. She was glad but not really happy. It's more like she was happy that a bond was broken. And things were ok between them for a while. If you could ever call it ok.

Things were back to the same. Same distance. Same conversations. Nothing was fixed.

She still kept her dislike for this girl in the back of her mind. She remembered that a couple years ago she liked a couple guys in the group chat. She laughed and remembered how her and her friend called her a hoe. She thought that's what she deserved. She didn't know her.

Ben started talking to the friend again because Maria wanted a little break. The friend asked if Maria ever said anything bad about her.

Ben showed her that Maria called her a hoe.

I was that friend.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for as long at they were at the time. About 3 months. Can you imagine your past being dragged up and having your name defiled by some girl you didn't even know? Can you imagine being talked trash on you're whole life and then finding out that people you know were talking shit on you?

Well let me tell you I felt the adrenaline pulsed. The fury within me roar.

I had a conversation with her where I blew up on her telling her she doesn't know anything about me. Because in all reality she didn't. She had no room to talk about me.

I told her just because her relationship wasn't going well doesn't mean she could hate on someone with a good one.

All she could say was I don't care. I don't care. It translates to I disliked you from the moment I heard your name and even if you were a good person. I. Wouldn't. Care.

She was low. She was petty. She was cruel.

What a toxic person for my friend to be around.

So finally they broke it off. She ended it. The ties were severed.

She said she loved him. The lies. The words. Those words were lies.

Not even a week after they broke up she was talking to another guy.

Not even a week.

" I care about you. I love you"

Lies