Athazagoraphobia [k.th]

Chapter 1

    Taehyun walked to school alone as usual. For some reason, he was a bit more sentimental than usual and looked around at other people hanging out with their friends. It was something that he was jealous of, because his fear stops him from befriending anyone. Sometimes it felt like a curse living in his own body.

He didn't care about being alone anymore. He's been this way for the past 10 years, and he could do it for another 10 years if he wanted to. He doesn't befriend anyone because of an accident his friend had when he was young. The accident was entirely his fault. He couldn't even deny it.

Even though he didn't want to admit it, sometimes the loneliness became too much to handle. Everyday he was surrounded by people who were fine with making friends. People who didn't need to care about their best friend forgetting about their existence. All because they weren't stupid enough to do what Taehyun did.

Taehyun hated his phobia. It was his fault that he earned that phobia in the first place. His fault that he was so scared of being forgotten by people close to him. Over the years, the phobia slowly consumed him. He didn't even recgonize himself in the mirror anymore. He was like a shadow of his former, cheerful self.

There were benefits of not having friends, though. Not having friends helped Taehyun get one of the highest marks in the school. He could focus on his grades and he didn't need to worry about getting distracted by anyone. He was somewhat content with his current life, although he admit that it would've been better if he wasn't so stupid.

The day passed as usual. Nothing seemingly out of place. Even if there was something wrong, it's not like he would even notice it. He was too far into his own world to even notice. He didn't notice the amount of girls at school who had a crush on them. None of it mattered to him. As long as he had music to listen to, he didn't care.

Taehyun returned home to find an empty house. Sighing, he found a bowl of ramen and started cooking it on his own. He was too hungry to wait for his mother to return home and cook for him. While he ate his noodles, he went through the new songs that Youtube recommended, downloading all the ones he liked.

It was finally peaceful in his house. Normally, he would've returned home to his mother blasting some kind of Kdrama on their TV. This time, it was different. He enjoyed the silence while it lasted, although it slowly started getting deafening. Of course, the silence didn't last and his neighbor returned home with her friends who were screaming.

Taehyun sighed. Just when he though he'd get some peace and quiet, it was ruined by his neighbor. At first, he was able to ignore their screams, but he started getting pissed when it went on for over and hour. He didn't even know how they could scream that much without destroying their vocal cords.

Finally, he had enough of their screaming and knocked on the door of his neighbor's house. He waited patiently outside their door for them to answer. When they did, he pulled out one of his earbuds. His neighbor just looked at him with a confused face.

"Taehyun? Is there something you need? After all, you're disrupting my hang out with my friends. If you don't need anything, I'm closing the door." The girl spoke sassily. Taehyun didn't know how she even knew his name. Nevermind that, there was more important things to worry about.

"How the hell do you know my name? Whatever, I'm just here to tell you something. Can you lower the volume of your screaming by a shit ton? You're disrupting the peaceful silence I finally got to enjoy for once." Taehyun retorted, rolling his eyes.

The girl crossed her arms angrily. "Taehyun, everyone at school knows who you are. And also, your mom blasts her stupid Kdrama all day and you don't see me complaining, now do you? Yeah, you don't. If that's all you have to say, I'm going to close the door on you." She replied. She was clearly mad, but Taehyun didn't think she looked that intimidating.

Taehyun stepped closer to her. "You are NOT going to close this door on me until you promise me you and your friends will shut up, understand? Trust me, getting me angry is the last thing you want to do. Oh, come home early tomorrow. I have to talk to you about something in private." Taehyun threatened. The moment she looked like she understood, Taehyun walked back into his house as if nothing happened.

He didn't stay long enough to see her blushing madly. He stepped inside his house and plopped onto his bed. Everything was silent again, and he sure as hell liked it like that. The screams he's been keeping in his head were loud enough. He didn't need excess sounds in his life.

Taehyun was sure that he had something more than just a simple phobia. Maybe a mental disorder. It wasn't normal for him to constantly have the same nightmare for 10 years. He knew that it shouldn't be so terrifying anymore, but he keeps waking up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat.

He would get it checked out, but him and his parents don't care enough to do that. As long as he wasn't insane, he didn't want to bother going to a doctor. Besides, he didn't feel the need to waste the money his parents earned for something so stupid. Others would say it's important, but not him.

Normally, his thoughts would be filled of his childhood best friend, Beomgyu. He would normally he doubting and hating himself, but today was different. This time, his mind wandered to his next door neighbor. She was quite feisty, and refused to back down from a fight. On top of that, she seemed to know his name when they never talked at all before this.

Usually, he would've thought she was some kind of weird stalker, but this time he didn't. Maybe it was instinct or some shit, but he genuinely thought that she wasn't a bad person. He knew that he felt like a bad person for years, and that hasn't changed a bit.

Most people thought he was oblivious to the gossip and rumors surrounding him, which wasn't the case. He knew what they talked about. He knew that many of the girls had a major crush on him, he just never cared much about it. He knew that the boys at school would judge him for being a 'wimp.' If only they knew that he was a blackbelt in Taekwondo.

He knew everything they ever said behind his back, mainly because people at his school were shit at hiding stuff. He never bothered responding to any of the rumors because he didn't care. He wasn't going to make any friends in the first place, so he didn't see the point in caring. He sighed as he turned the volume on his phone higher. He wanted to drown out the thoughts in his head. They were starting to get really annoying.

But they never left his mind.