Rose Garden :: MJ

Chapter 14 : Fall For You

Fall For You

Amanda's POV

1998

The sun from behind the curtains came in and illuminated my room just enough to wake me up. I slowly rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom. Ah! The sight I saw in the mirror could've landed me a role in a scary movie. My hair was in a crazy mess and my make up was severely smeared from crying almost all night.

I washed my face, brushed my hair, and started to make my way to the kitchen for some much needed coffee. I walked in the kitchen and saw him sitting at the table, drinking coffee, and looking out the bay windows to the pool.

I tried to be as quiet as possible getting my coffee so I wouldn't have to talk to him this morning, but that failed when I accidently hit my coffee mug and it went flying off the counter onto the hardwood floor, shattering into a million pieces.

Michael's head whipped around to face me, "Morning."

"Morning," I mumbled as I got down on the floor to pick up the pieces from my mug.

In an instant, Michael was kneeled in front of me helping me pick up the pieces. We both raised our heads at the same time and looked at each other. His big brown eyes that I had missed all these years stared into my eyes.

His eyes were full of apology and hurt, no doubt from what went on last night. He brought his face closer to mine and I obliged by kissing him.

"Momma!" I heard Tara's little voice scream from behind us.

I quickly pulled away from Michael and looked at my baby girl who was on the verge of tears.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, "You're supposed to be married to Daniel!"

Tara took off running to her room, sobbing loudly; I got up and ran to catch her, "Tara, sweetie!"

I got in Tara's room to see her clutching a stuffed elephant that Michael got her yesterday at the zoo. Her sobs were loud and it broke my heart.

"Tara, do you want to talk about something?"

"Mommy," she looked up at me, "I know that Michael is my daddy, but I know that you're married to Daniel. You're not supposed to kiss other people when you're married."

I sighed, "Come here, baby," Tara climbed into my arms, "When you're older you're going to find that loving someone is hard. A long time ago Michael and I were in love, just like Daniel and I are now. I haven't talked to Michael in almost ten years and I left him abruptly. When I left him, I still loved him. When I met Daniel I forgot about loving him and loved Daniel enough to marry him. Now that I'm seeing Michael again for the first time in so long, I'm trying to sort out some crazy feelings in my head. Do you understand?"

"Yes, you love Michael," Tara said smiling.

"Tara, that's not what I mean."

"Mommy, if you want to leave Daniel and marry Michael, I wouldn't mind," she brought her voice down to a whisper, "I like Michael better."

I laughed out loud and started tickling Tara, she screamed with laughter.

"Knock, Knock," I heard Michael say from behind us.

We both turned around, Tara jumped off the bed and into Michael's arms. He swung her around once and set her down, "I was wondering if I could talk your mommy alone."

"Yeah, make sure you ask her to marry you," Tara said to him.

He laughed, "Amanda, can I talk to you?"

"Sure," I said getting off the bed and walking towards Michael, "Tara play something in your room, okay."

Tara started playing with some baby dolls, Michael and I left her room, shutting the door behind us. He took my hand and led me to the backyard, we stopped on the patio.

"What do you want, Michael?"

"I wanted to ask you why you kissed me this morning when last night you were so set on breaking my heart again," he said raising his voice a little.

"Michael, what did you expect? I told you in my letter that I was married, you can't just waltz in here and start back where we left off," I told him.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know, Michael, I just don't know," I said sitting down in chair, burying my face in my hands, and starting to cry from frustration.

"Amanda, why can't you just admit it? You still love me," Michael said.

I stood up and looked him straight in the eye, "Fine! You want me to live with the guilt of loving someone else more than I love my own husband? I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! I'VE LOVED YOU THIS WHOLE FREAKING TIME!"

I fell to the ground and sobbed, Michael had his arms around me in an instant, I loved him and he finally knew, now I just want everything that's happened to go away.

1988

The full moon shined over the lake at Neverland, I stood there quietly. Michael told me to meet him here. It had been a few months since I had been at his house and I had fallen more in love with him than before as I had helped him heal completely from the mishap with his father.

"Hello," he said from behind me, snaking his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.

"Hi," I said turning around, "What are doing?"

"Come with me," he said taking my hand.

He led me over a bridge with flower petals showering it; we came up to a table on the other side of the lake. The table had two tall white candles flickering, white linens and table cloth. There were two places set with fine china. Michael pulled my chair out for me and I sat down. He walked over to the other side of the table and sat down.

"Michael, what is all of this?" I asked looking around at the romantic setting.

"Can't I plan a romantic dinner for us?" He said smiling.

The waiter brought the appetizer, then the man course, then dessert, and left us alone after that.

"I love you," Michael said, "I have loved you since the first time I saw you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he got down on his knee beside me and pulled a small blue box from his pocket, "Amanda, will you marry me?"

"Michael, I don't know what to say," I started, "Yes, I'll marry you."

He slid the ring on my finger and held me close to him, he pulled away, "I have to tell you something, we won't be able to get married for a while. Tomorrow I have to leave for a few months to finish my Bad tour."

Anger built inside of me, I knew this relationship was too good to be true, he continued, "But you can stay here and move in while I'm gone."

He wasn't inviting me on tour with him! Any other man would've invited their fiancé with them, "You can keep your ring, Michael!"

I threw his ring at him, "I knew that one day it would come to this. You leaving me! What would the King of Pop want with me, a stupid fatherless vulnerable young woman?"

I got up from the table ignoring his calls to me and gathered my stuff up to leave. I raced out of the house and sped off in my car.

I wasn't going to look back. I wasn't going to remember how in love I was with Michael Jackson!