To Make It Count

chapter 9

Darkness. Confusion. Bone-deep, stabbing cold, and silence.

Y/n kicks wildly for the surface with Camila's hand in hers. She can feel the suction pulling her under, and she fights it with all her strength.

Camila's lifebelt is making her rise faster - the buoyancy is pulling Y/n's arm taut. Y/n tries to keep up, but a kicking foot flies out of the darkness and hits their joined hands, and Y/n can’t maintain her grip. Her hand slips free and Camila rises towards the surface, leaving Y/n behind. She feels like she’s 13 again, breaking through the ice into the freezing lake water below. Only, this time, Cara isn’t here to pull her out when her limbs stop working.

Oh god, cara…

Y/n has no idea where she is – whether she’s on a lifeboat, stuck in the sunken ship below, or somewhere in this water with them. Guilt stabs at her as she struggles. I should have tried harder, I should have found her right away…

She can feel herself running out of air. Her head starts to spin, and her movement gets jerky and uncoordinated as memories rip through her head at top speed – her parents, singing together as they make breakfast. Diana and Jerimiah, holding her close as she cried on the anniversary. Cara, beating up the boy at school who crumpled up Y/n’s drawings and helping her off the ground. Camila, on the bow of the Titanic with the sunset behind her, looking at Y/n like she means something.

Camila.

With a final burst of movement, the water parts and y/n breaks the surface, gasping and coughing. Her lungs burn and she chokes on saltwater as she tries to take in more cold air. As her ears clear of water, the silence is gone. All she can hear is screaming.

I need to find Camila.

Y/n shakes the fog from her head and tries to focus. The water is icy, so cold that it makes her skin burn and her chest feel tight, but she fights the numbness. Ahead, she spots something large – the water breaks against it, making the surface shiny. Swimming towards it, it looks like a huge slab of wood – part of the wooden upholstery, maybe, or a large door. It has a few lengths of rope tangled around it, seeming to be looped through the wood somehow. It might hold someone’s weight.

Y/n swims towards it and pushes it as far out as she can, away from the mass of people. All she can do is hope that nobody else claims it until she can return. Then, turning back to the churning water, she strikes out again. She struggles, her limbs feeling heavy without a lifejacket.

“Camila?” She calls out, hoping she can be heard above the other screams. She swims deeper into the fray. To her left, she sees a man climb on top of a woman in a life belt, forcing her under. As she comes up again, trying to fight him off, Y/n sees her face.

“Camila!” She swims as hard as she can, rage making her faster. “Get off her! Get off!”

The man holds on stubbornly, and Y/n does the only thing she can. She flares out an elbow directly into his face, and he falls back into the water. Camila surfaces again, sputtering.

“Camila! Camila, are you okay?” Camila's eyes focus on her.

“Y/n?” Camila reaches out, grasping her arm. “Oh god, I thought I lost you. Our hands slipped and you went under, and –“

“I know. I need you to swim, okay? Right now.” She starts kicking, not letting go of Camila's hand, and she follows. They need to get back to the door. Y/n knows how little time they have until the cold truly kicks in, until everyone who stays in the water freezes to death.