God Only Knows

Will They,Won't They? (Part 2)

Moa looked at Yui who hadn't moved from the corner of the bed on which she was perched.

"Why didn't you help me try to get out?"

"Have you met Su?" said Yui. "This might be a stupid idea,but she's not going to give up on it.She never gives up on anything once she's got a bee in her bonnet.So,go and sit over there and play with your phone or think of some more mean names to call me because we're going to be here for a long time."

Moa was poised to reply,but then thought better of it and instead retrieved her phone from her bag and sat in a large,comfy armchair in the corner of the room as far away from Yui as possible.There she stayed for the next hour with the two girls staring down at their phones in silence and taking quick glances at the other when they thought they weren't being observed.

Eventually,Yui stood up and went to the bathroom.When she came out she picked up the guitar that was on a stand by the door.Su had started to learn to play,but had given up once she realised she was never going to be more than competent on the instrument.Competent was never good enough for Su,if she couldn't excel at something she had no interest in pursuing it further.

Yui sat on the floor,leaning on the bed with her back to Moa.She began to strum aimlessly on the guitar,then to pick out some actual tunes.Her fingers moved quickly and nimbly over the frets.She seemed to lose herself in the music almost forgetting she wasn't alone,so she was surprised to be disturbed by a voice from the other side of the room.

"You've become really good," said Moa quietly.

Yui stopped playing and looked at her as if to check the comment wasn't made sarcastically."Thank you,Moa."

"It's true,maybe all that time you were..........It doesn't matter."

"No,now we're talking you might as well get it off your chest.Who knows,this might be the last time we see each other."

"Really? You think this might be the last time we see each other?" There was genuine panic in Moa's voice.

"That's what you want,isn't it?"

"Why would I want that?"

"Well,what am I supposed to think after you said those things to me."

"I'm sorr......" Moa began to apologise,but then her temper got the better of her."Wait a minute,you started all this,Yui.We shared a house,we shared a bed,we shared our lives and yet you kept this massive secret from me.I had to hear about you leaving the band from our manager like I was just some person on the street,like I was nothing to you."

Yui's face betrayed the fact she didn't know whether to argue or cry."I was thoughtless,I'm sorry.There,I've said it.I always wanted to come back to the band,touring the world with you and Su and seeing places I thought I'd only ever see in the movies was amazing.And to share the stage with you in front of all those people who had so much love for us......and then to go back to our hotel room and climb into bed together happy and exhausted,so exhausted we'd fall asleep in each other's arms.It was like a dream." Yui paused,took a deep breath and continued."But you saw me the last few concerts we played.I was in such pain by the time we finished.You saw me in tears,you held me and comforted me.And I tried so hard to be brave,I really did.But I'm not,I'm not brave like you and Su.Maybe you're right,maybe I am just a baby." Her voice tailed off.

Moa held tight to the arms of her chair.Every fibre of her being was itching to run to her former girlfriend and engulf her in the tightest embrace ever.

"If I'm honest," continued Yui,"I always had a nagging fear I wouldn't be able to come back,but everyone was making plans and you were excited and I got carried away by that.And all the while I was playing the guitar and I had so much time to myself to think and to plan and to dream.And I had the notion that perhaps,just perhaps people would want to come and see timid little me if I just stepped out of the shadow of you and Su.And I wanted to tell you,so often I nearly did and I kept chickening out until it was too late.It was stupid and I was wrong and I'm sorry."

Moa thought it must be time for her to talk,but before she did Yui continued.

"But those things you said to me.........You know how sensitive I can be,you know how one unkind comment from a stranger on the internet can leave me in tears.And yet you,the most precious person in my life,said such a cruel thing.You said I wasn't good enough to make it on my own.You know how I struggle for confidence,but you still said that." Just remembering the words left Yui looking bereft.

For the longest time they sat in silence before Moa spoke up."I knew Su was going to do something like this,she's such a goofball.But it gave me time to prepare to see you.I tried to harden my heart,I tried to be angry with you."

"But why?"

"I guess I thought if I did that it would be easier to come to terms with not being with you any more.But now I've seen you,now I'm close to you again........Oh God,Yui,I just want you so......"

"Stop it,Moa!"

A silence descended on the room punctuated only by the sound of Moa sobbing quietly.Finally,she pulled herself together enough to speak again."I tried so often to apologise.I tried calling hundreds of times,I left messages,I contacted all your friends.I know what I said was terrible.I was angry,but that's no excuse.As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them.I'm so sorry,Yui,more sorry than I'll ever be able to express."

"It's too late,Moa."

Moa left her chair and rushed to kneel on the floor next to Yui."No,Yui,please don't say that.It can't be too late.I can't leave this room with you not being my girlfriend."

"You don't seem to understand,Moa.I know that no one could ever love me like you,but no one could hurt me like you either."

"Yui,I'm begging you.I'm on my knees.I'll do anything.For the first time ever I hated being on tour.I made Su's life a misery,she deserves a medal for not killing me.I cried myself to sleep every night."

"Every night?"

"I swear.And it got even worse after I watched your videos."

"You watched some of my videos?"

"No,I watched ALL of your videos.You're right,Yui,I know you better than anyone and I know how much it took for you to stand onstage so alone and vulnerable,but you did it anyway.Don't ever again tell me that you're not brave.I was so proud of you,baby girl,and I was so ashamed of myself.I should have been there front row,centre every night supporting my girlfriend.All those love songs should have been sung with you gazing into my eyes."

At that moment they heard a knock at the door,then Su's voice. "I'm coming in,my little kitsunes,I hope you're not up to anything." She opened the door and surveyed the scene.The look on the girls' faces told her everything she needed to know. "So,my plan didn't work."

"We've been talking," said Yui,"but we're not a couple." She stood up and retrieved her bag."I'm going to call a cab," she said."I'll wait for it outside."

She left the room without looking back.

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A/N : Sorry there's so much dialogue and so little action here.Put the blame on Su - she's the one who locked them in a room!