This is goodbye.
“And here’s to electricity, without which we wouldn’t be this successful!” Harry exclaimed, raising his sixth glass of champagne. Louis cheered and drank from his own glass.
“At this rate, he’ll be toasting to his trousers next,” Liam muttered to Meaghan before sipping his Coke. She laughed and glanced at Harry, who winked cheekily.
Five years after releasing their first album, One Direction reached international fame in ways no other boy band had ever dreamed of. But it had come at a price. The boys found themselves more and more controlled by management and having less and less time for fans. They would be shuttled from country to country in two days. It was time for a break. Unfortunately, it took Niall being hospitalized from exhaustion for realization to hit. To the disappointment of millions of fans, they boys decided to take a year-long break. No tours, no signings, nothing. They bought a house a few miles outside the sleepy town of Bradford. For the first month or so, they were assaulted by fans everywhere they went. Around the third month, they were able to walk around town without screaming girls offering to strip for them.
That was around the time they met Meaghan and Leah. The elderly couple that lived in the house directly next to the boys had rented out their house, which the two girls had taken. After only a month, they had become great friends.
Liam snapped out of his musings to see Harry raising another glass. He slurred another toast before knocking back his shot. Louis cheered and followed Harry’s example. Niall was nursing the same beer he’d been drinking since the beginning of the night.
“Babe, you’ve been drinking that all night. Come join us!” Harry’s voice squeaked slightly on the last two words as he gently pulled on Meaghan’s jet-black hair and nuzzled her neck. He picked up two full shot glasses and handed one to her. She smirked and handed it to Louis, who happily accepted.
“This one’s to those beautiful blue eyes of yours,” Harry yelled at Meaghan. She lifted her glass of red wine before taking a sip. Harry tipped his head back and poured his drink down his throat.
“Meaghan, I think Leah wants to come back,” Niall said without taking his eyes off the girl on the dance floor. Her auburn hair was curled and fell below her shoulders.
“Niall, she’s blind, not mute. If she wanted to come back, all she had to do was tell the guy,” Meaghan explained. “Plus, Zayn’s right there. He’s looking after her.”
Niall narrowed his eyes and glared at the stranger dancing with Leah.
“Trust Niall to wait until the last possible moment to make a move,” Liam whispered to Meaghan.
“He needs to be trusted before Leah can date him.”
“Are you going to turn into ‘Momma Bear’ now? Leah’s a big girl who can handle herself. And Niall will take care of her.”
Meaghan rolled her eyes at Liam. “It’s only until the surgery. After that, she’ll need someone to help her out.”
“The surgery…” Liam finished off his soft drink and pushed the glass aside. “Explain that to me again. Why can’t she just get it done now?”
“She’ll be turning nineteen in four months. She had to wait this long because the doctors didn’t know how she’d react to retinal replacement. They did long and tedious tests to see if she’d be alright, which she would be.” Liam nodded for her to go on. “Because she’s been blind from birth, seeing again will be a challenge for her. She’ll need someone to help her out.”
“So why can’t that be you?”
Meaghan shrugged nonchalantly, but her eyes hardened immediately. “It might be me, it might not…all depends.”
“On what?”
Conveniently, the song ended and out on the floor, Leah raised her arm—a sign for someone to come get her. Zayn whispered something to the girl he’d been dancing with and led Leah over to their table. Leah’s pale face was flushed with a happiness that wasn’t reflected in her vacant green eyes. Niall immediately wrapped her arm around Leah’s waist and pulled her into the seat next to his.
Meaghan saw the way he looked at Leah and felt a lump form in her throat. “I need some air,” she declared to no one in particular. Liam looked at her anxiously.
“Meg, you alright?” he asked.
If she opened her mouth, she’d vomit. She knew that much. She also knew that being honest was out of the question, so she nodded.
The balcony was completely empty except for a young girl smoking a cigarette by the corner. After five minutes, she put it out and walked back inside where her friends were waiting. The remains of her cigarette glowed orange in the dark.
How stupid is this girl? Meaghan thought. She was throwing away hours of her life. Hours that turned quickly into days. How wonderful it must be to not see Death lurking in every corner, waiting to attack.
Almost unconsciously, Meaghan hoisted herself up on the ledge and threw off her heels. They clattered on the stone behind her, but she ignored the noise. Her toes curled on the edge as she closed her eyes. The wind whipped her straightened hair around her face. All she had to do was let go. Death could take her if he wanted. What was the point of prolonging the inevitable? If she had to die at some point anyway, it would be on her terms.
All she had to do was let go.
And it would all be over.
No more pain.
No more memories.
Nothing.
“Meaghan?” A shaky voice was behind her.
Her eyes snapped open as she turned her head slowly. Liam walked toward her slowly, his hand extended. The lights of the city twinkled below her, inviting her closer. Liam’s hand found hers as he pulled her down gently. Once she was safe on the ground, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the top of her head. When she pulled away from him, the front of his shirt was soaked through with her tears.
“You’re like a sister to me, Meaghan. Whatever it is, let’s talk about it,” he suggested, fighting to keep whatever composure he had left.
“Talking won’t fix anything.”
“Meg, maybe you should see someone.”
She inhaled and shook her head. “That won’t do anything. I’ve seen everyone I possibly could. There’s no one I can go see that’ll tell me something else. I’m sick of hearing bad news.”
By this point, Liam was crying as well.”You’re only twenty-one. You’ve got your entire life to look forward to. Why would you want to throw that away?”
“That’s the point, though, isn’t it?” she snapped, pushing him away and wrapping her arms around herself. The wind that had caressed her now lashed out, biting her exposed skin. “I don’t have anything to look forward to.”
“What about Harry? He really likes you, Meg. And I know you feel something for him as well,” Liam insisted. “You can’t—”
“Liam, please…” she trailed off and turned her back to him. “You can try as hard as you want, but there are some things that just can’t be fixed.”
