Appetizers: BxB, GxB, GxG *Slow*

8. I'm Sorry

I’m Sorry

My grip on the coffee cup tightens and I take a deep breath counting to ten in my head. I shouldn’t be here. My willpower isn’t strong enough to keep me from doing it. I knew I should’ve stayed at home today. There are too many of them here. Maybe I should just head back to my apartment. Terry might be upset if I leave now but I’m pretty sure she’d be a mess if I stay and fuck up some poor family’s life. Not to mention the impact it’d have my own family.

“Uncle! Uncle Jay!” Lucas’ cheerful voice reaches my ears just mere seconds before a small body slams against my legs. I look down at the kid with a small smile. He looks up at me with his blue eyes twinkling and his dimples making him simply adorable. With a quick glance at the table beside me, I set down my coffee to lift the boy up. Lucas starts giggling and sets his hands on my shoulders.

“Hey Lucas. How are you kiddo?” He smiles widely, showing off his perfect teeth.

“Guess what Uncle? Guess what?” he says happily, bouncing in my arms.

“What?” Lucas groans dramatically but still smiles at me.

“No, Uncle Jay! You’re supposed to guess!” I pretend to think for a moment and Lucas starts getting upset. With a small chuckle I answer.

“It’s Christmas?” Lucas laughs while shaking his head. Over his shoulder I can see Terry walking through the crowd over to us.

“No Uncle. It’s my birthday!” Lucas claps his hands happily and I gasp.

“What? You’re birthday?” Lucas nods excitedly and Terry steps up to us. “Really? How old are you then?”

“Six!” Lucas holds up six fingers, looking proud of himself. I smile at him and that’s when Terry decides to make herself known to her child.

“There you are Lucas! I told you Aunt Leah wanted to say hi,” she says, trying to be stern but nevertheless a smile forms on her face. Lucas grimaces and shakes his head.

“But, Mom, she smells weird!” Terry looks unimpressed. Lucas looks at me and I lean forward.

“She does smell weird doesn’t she?” I whisper, watching as his smile comes back and he nods before facing his mother again.

“See Mom? Uncle Jay thinks so too!” Terry shakes her head and I slowly set Lucas on the floor. He looks up at me with a pout. “Do I have to Uncle Jay?”

“Do what your mother says and be nice to Auntie Leah.” He huffs and turns around, stomping away. Terry shakes her head with a fond smile.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.” I don’t say anything and grab my cup of coffee again, taking a sip. My sister sighs and looks at me.

“Thank you for coming Jaymes. I really appreciate it.” I take a sip of my drink, trying to focus on anything but my sister or them. In the end, I look at Terry who is currently watching me with worried eyes.

“You’re lucky Lucas saw me. I almost left. But don’t expect me to stay the whole time. I’ll probably leave the moment after Lucas opens my gift.” Terry gives an exasperated sigh and crosses her arms, staring me down.

“What is wrong with you Jaymes? You hardly ever come and visit us anymore. Not to mention the fact that you don’t even leave your apartment most of the time. What is going on?” I sigh and shake my head. This is the hundredth time I’ve heard this monologue from my sister and I’m just about tired of hearing it. I would answer her questions, but I’m pretty sure that if they found out about my secret, they’d no longer see me as the same person and probably send me to some therapist who’ll want to put me in a mental hospital. “Like, what the hell Jaymes? The whole family has been trying, but you just keep pushing us away. Let us help you.”

“Terry, drop it. I’m not going to tell you or anyone why I am the way I am. Get used to it and stop pushing for an answer. Now, smile. Ma is headed this way.” Terry gives me a glare before plastering a huge smile on her face and turning just as Mom reaches us. She says Terry’s name joyfully as she gives her a hug. When she pulls away and faces me she looks me up and down before her black eyes meet my own blue ones.

“I though all recluses were fat Jaymyson.” I scoff, looking away from her and at the crowd taking a big gulp of my coffee. Parents are in groups of four or five along the wall as their kids play in the inside playground. Terry’s husband, Klay, is the owner of the biggest catering business in the town. He’s very into a healthy lifestyle, so he had this room renovated into a playground for Lucas. But it’s only for when he can’t play outside.

“Just because I don’t want to leave my apartment building doesn’t mean I don’t leave my apartment.” Ma rips my cup from my hands and storms away. Terry and I watch her go, my sister with her hands on her hips and me thinking about if I have enough money to go and buy another coffee from Starbucks or not.

“Well, that went well,” Terry murmurs before walking away. Great. Now I’m stuck here in a room full of them with no coffee to distract myself. This day just keeps on getting better and better.

“Food’s ready people!” Klay announces before walking out of the room and heading in the direction of the dining room. All the kids pile out of the room first, running and laughing with each other. The parents follow behind watching their children with fond smiles. This’d be a great time to leave.

“Come on Uncle Jay!” Looking down I see Lucas tugging on my hand, so I slowly walk letting him lead me. Great, I guess I won’t be getting away from them quite yet.

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