Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors Part 4

Owen walks beside me on the way home. Halfway there he takes my free hand and gives it a squeeze. Jamie holds the other and I can tell he is fighting to hold back tears.

When we get home Jamie goes straight to his room. I invite Owen inside for a drink.

I turn the kettle on and start cleaning the kitchen, when the kettle is boiled I make his coffee and clean up the mess left behind. When that is done I go and clean the lounge, I don't even realise that I am crying until Owen takes the vacuum out of my hands and pulls me into his chest, rubbing my back.

We stand there for a while until I have control over myself once again, "I am sorry Owen I didn't mean to breakdown like that."

I bend over and start packing up the vacuum, "Will you just stop cleaning for a second Penni?"

"This is what I do everyday after school, otherwise she cracks it."

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Like what?" I don't know what he is talking about.

"You never say mum or mother, you only ever say she or her. Why?" He is looking down at me.

"I've never really noticed." I think about it for a while, "It is probably because she doesn't feel like my mother; she hasn't felt like my mother ever since my dad died. It seems as though when my dad died my mother died with him. All that is left is a shell of what she used to be." He looks down at me with interest, he begins to lean down toward me, but I duck away. "You better go. She'll be home soon." I walk with him to the door.

"Meet you at the gate tomorrow?"

"Yes." I lean against the door when he leaves and breathe for a minute, trying to get my pulse back to normal.

I make dinner and leave it in the oven while I go and see Jamie.

"What happened today?" He is lying under his doona, hidden from sight. I sit down on the end of his bed and rub his leg.

"I was only sitting eating my lunch, and they wanted my snickers but I wouldn't give it to them, so they hit me. I hit back but it didn't do anything so I just tried to run away but they tripped me over and started punching me. That's all, it doesn't matter. You're always covered in bruises and no one ever cares about that, so why does everyone care when I get a few?" He says this all in a huge rush, like he just wants to get it over and done with. But I hear every word he says, and it hurts.

I try to think about a good answer for him but I can't come up with anything, I can't tell him that his mother hits me, he would get upset. I'll just have to lie to him, "It doesn't matter because it is my own fault that I get beaten up, it wasn't your fault that you got hurt, was it?"

He looks up at me the tears threatening to emerge, "No?"

"No, it wasn't. You know that I love you right?" He nods, "That is why I don't want to see you get hurt. Okay?"

He crawls out from under the doona and slides down to where I am sitting, "I love you too Pen."

"Come and have dinner."

We go into the kitchen and eat our dinner. When we are finished we turn on the TV and sit on the couch together. When she gets home she is in one of her moods. I turn off the telly and get her dinner.

She follows me into the kitchen, "So, are you ready to own up about stealing the money?"

"I told you I didn't take it. Why don't you believe me?" I put her plate on the table.

"Why you ungrateful child, how dare you take that tone with me? I have raised you, given you everything you needed, and look at how you repay me. You steal off me, your own mother."