We all have a story.
Good or bad, I bet we all do,
it's a story nonetheless and some stories are really really shitty.
We tend to keep our stories to ourselves because we don't expect a lot of people in our life to stay after they hear how terrible our tales are, but sometimes we do, we see parts of ourselves in other people and decide to let them in, we share our stories, our deepest darkest secrets, our hidden desires, our shame, our ugliness, our pain, our love, our hate, our happiness, our likes, our dislikes, our soft spots, our sex life, our tiny satisfactions...
Everything. In time ofcourse, but not everyone stays after seeing all that you've showed them about yourself...
Maybe it's too much for them to handle or maybe your demons don't dance well with each other or maybe they're just plain out assholes but the point is not everyone stays.
We take lessons from the shit life throws at us without even knowing it, at some point of life you finally understand yourself more than anyone can ever understand you. It takes a lot to understand yourself. You're constantly changing, evolving into who you aspire to be but that's what matters most.
You matter the most.
You could survive not understanding people but you couldn't survive not knowing who you yourself are.
It's going to be a constant battle with yourself and it will be hard but you'll get through it.
You just have to let shit go, leave the past where it belongs, now forget your tears and focus on you.
It's doable, and then are some who stay who make you want to live out the rest of your life with them beside you.
It doesn't have to be a specific boyfriend or girlfriend also friends, friends you want at your wedding and your baby showers and every birthday and your gatherings and pretty much everything.
We live petty lives doing petty shit for people who are nothing but negative, for people who wish nothing but the worst upon us.
We are willing to die for people who wouldn't hesitate to kill us and what does that say about us?
That we love... that's the conclusion I can come to.
'Love and loyalty'.
But for the right person it might be worth it. Sometimes we love so much that nothing but that person exists to us. We leave all of our pride and dignity and just focus on that person who makes us feel alive, who mendes our broken hearts, who loves our demons, who restores humanity in us. So we fall again and again in hopes of finding the right person for us even if it means getting our hopes crushed every time something ends or life pulls you apart. We're so thirsty for love, so not wanting to be alone that we settle for less that what we need to satisfy a temporary want.
It's not right. We break our own hearts hoping that maybe this person is the right person but that's just it.
We don't know if it is. I wish we did sometimes.
Life would be so much easier if we knew who our person is, and that's what we should go for, no settling for less or lowering standards, we deserve so much more in life that what life keeps giving so strive to fuck life over, to find true happiness.
Doesn't matter if your true happiness is money, love, sex, success, a family, marriage...
Just don't fuck people's lives over to get to where you want to be.
I'm not saying be soft but if it's meant to be then it will be so live.
'Live everyday like you'll die tomorrow', 'live every night like it's your last night out', work hard to get to where you want to be, give the shit life pulls a middle finger and live.
You are born to live, you are made for the best just like it's made for you...
-IREoluwa
