His Game

Chapter Twenty Nine

This is it, the last chapter before the epilogue

His Game: Chapter Twenty Nine

December 3rd- Three Weeks Later

It's been a couple of weeks since you left, Joey. With how we left things...how you were going to leave without saying goodbye, it's been easier than expected to ignore the urge to text you. Now, though, that anger has all dissipated and I'm...empty. I can't resist this need to text you and I'm sitting here praying for a response. I'm sorry for the way we left things. I wish our goodbye could have been different, I wish I had handled things better. I still would have told you I love you, but instead of pushing you away as you cried, I wish I had held you and cried with you. I would have wished you luck in Chicago, told you to say goodbye to Jacob and your father for me. I'd have told you that I'll always be here for you if you ever need me. That I'll always love you despite how heartbroken I am. Still though, damn you. It was one thing to rip my heart out of my chest, and it was another to get me hooked on Chinese food. Now I can't even smell it without thinking of you.

P.S. Dino is salty that you never said goodbye to him, either.

January 9th- Two Months Later

I know you never responded to my text before, and that was enough of an answer to keep me away from your number for a few more weeks. But I can't stop thinking about you. I've stopped dating, stopped playing that stupid game. I can't bring myself to play again. You really did a number on me, Joey. It's been two months since you left me, and the memory of your lips on mine should have started fading by now. But my thoughts are clouded with images of you. Hell, I can see nothing but a red leaf on the ground and it will still remind me of that time you nearly slipped on one after a rainstorm and clung to me for safety. It's the small things like that that for some reason I can't let go of. The way you smiled at me on the beach, the way you laughed with Belle, and especially the way you could devour an entire plate of dumplings in less than a minute. I mean, come on. How will I ever find someone else who can do that? I hope everything at your new school is going well, and I hope you've met some people who make you happy.

P.S. Belle misses you.

March 14th- Four Months Later

No reply to the two before, and yet here I am still sending another text. I can't help myself. Every time I sent one, there's this rapid beating of my heart just waiting for those three bubbles to pop up. I guess the excitement of potentially hearing from you is continuing to outweigh the disappointment when I never do. I wonder how long that will last... Roger got into Harvard, as we all knew he would. Dino didn't get in anywhere, but he's happy going to the community college here. I got into USC, and I even got accepted into their summer program. I'm leaving just after graduation. I hope you got in to every place you applied to, they'd be fools not to accept you.
I miss you. I can't stop looking at this damn polaroid you forced me to take. I don't know how to handle the fact that it's the only remnants of you I have left. I know I should throw it away and move on, it's been nearly five months since I last saw you, but I can't. I can't move on from you, Joey. Maybe the first step is to stop sending these texts, it can't be helping me in any way. Hell, you never even bother to reply. I don't even know if you're still getting these of if you changed your number with the move. That being said...I guess I should say this is my last text to you. I wish you the best, Josephine Chapman.

P.S. Belle still misses you.

October 9th- Exactly One Year Later

Hey... It was a year ago today. A year ago today that we met, a year ago when I thought you'd just be another girl to play that game. Eleven months ago you broke my heart, and I've been paying for it ever since. It's been a long time since I've texted you. Nearly 8 months. Maybe you were thinking I had finally forgotten about you, moved on. But...how could I forget about you? Even though I wish more than anything that your memory could disappear from my mind and stop haunting me every night when I try to sleep, I'm afraid it's stuck with me forever. There are times I don't think of you, sure. There are times I feel like I've moved on, when I'm with Dino and Roger and we're laughing about something stupid Dino said....but when I'm alone, you cloud my mind. I still don't know if you even get these texts or if I was blocked a long time ago, but I couldn't stop myself from sending one more in hopes of a response. Wishful thinking, I know, but a year is a long time to go without any word from the girl that stole your heart and refuses to give all of it back. But, if you don't respond, I understand. I don't even really know why I'm still texting you.

P.S. I still can't eat Chinese food without thinking of you.

May 15th- A Year and A Half Later

I'm punching myself for texting you again. I just felt like I should tell you that I've met someone. You probably did only weeks after you left. Probably found someone who wasn't toying with you in a game, probably fell for him, but not nearly as hard as he probably fell for you. We guys can't help it when it comes to you, Joey. I'm sure whoever he is, he's going to treat you like the Queen you are. I just hope he holds you so tight that neither one of you can let go, the one thing I didn't do. Whoever he is, he won't make the same mistake as me and lose you. As depressing as this has become, I'm chuckling to myself right now, because I realize it's been just less than two years since we last spoke and here I am texting you and probably sounding like a total creep. I've probably sounded like a creep ever since the first text I sent. But...I just wanted to tell you that though it took me a long time, I think I'm finally ready to move on. The girl I met, she's different. She could be the one to help me get over you. Though you probably stopped reading these long ago, if you ever did in the first place, this is officially my last text. Goodbye Joey, for real this time. Thank you for everything, even the heartbreak.

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Up next: the epilogue (a continuation of the prologue)