Seaquake, A beginning

Phases and discoveries

So the first phase I feel like needs talking about is probably my trans-phase, what I mean with this is that I went through a phase not knowing whether I wanted to become a girl or remain a boy. It was around this time I wrote the story "Gender Bender" as it was a way for me to process what I was thinking and it also worked as a way to see the up- and downsides to changing my gender. I had to think about if it would all be worth it, after doing it there would be no going back. I had to think about how I would handle the way my friends and classmates would see me and that could be pretty hard at times. There was this one girl in my class however who took all of that doubt I had about how others would see me. This happened when we were walking to school when I told her that I was wanting to become a girl, I thought she would judge me or laugh at me but instead, she said something that still warms my heart to this very day. the first thing she said was: "Can I then be your new best friend?" (As in the way that you have male and female friends, she was reverting to being my best female friend). I was so relieved when she said this that all doubt about others was gone, only the doubt about myself remained. At this time I also realized that I am also most likely bisexual because I also had to think about how I was going to have sex once I didn't have a penis anymore. I wasn't completely open to the idea of only being able to be penetrated but also wasn't appalled by it. So after this phase was over I had discovered some new things about myself that I hadn't before, I knew who I wanted to be and that I wanted to remain a boy for the rest of my life because I am simply too happy with my current body to give it up. I also found out I'm bisexual and even though I sometimes still imagine what my life would've been like if I had undergone the process I am really happy I decided not to.