It was the answer to everything. Had another shitty day? Someone called you something you didn't like? Your name isn't the one you want? You don't want to work? Afraid of people?
It's the best escape plan there ever was. Like a door, opening to another realm. You could almost feel the radiating glow on your skin, the comfort that it will be over soon, to leave this painful life.
Buddhism taught me that only someone on the right path, will not be reborn and start another painful life cycle. If you truly wish to see the truth, you must understand that you are a part of something bigger. This is confusing me though.
How can I be part of something so godly, If my existence is nothing but agony? How can I be leading such an 'Important' life, if I am just another link in the chain? Just another one waiting out it's own death.
I don't understand. I should have figured this out by now, found something I agree with. Like everyone else. Agree with an almighty god, get to heaven if I have been good. But it all confuses me so much. All I want is to go and be nothing.
Maybe a handful of ash.
YOU ARE READING
NIGHT SKETCH
JugendliteraturA story of a nineteen year old non-binary and chaotic person, who tries to find sense in the things we do, what the universe is whispering at night and what it means to be lonely in a crowd of people.
