Here I am four weeks pregnant and my tummy isn't getting any smaller. I rub my stomach as I sat at the balcony watching as the sun sets. I exhale a deep sigh as I reflected what I have now. I once had a family but they were taken from me. I had friends but soon they were gone in an instant. Now I have a lover...and a baby. Will they be taken from me too?
Thinking that they might end up like the rest I couldn't stop my tears as I continued to rub my tummy. I didn't noticed that Arterius was stalking behind. Only when he called my name that I noticed his presence.
"Why are you crying, love?" Arterius ask as he wipe my fallen tears.
"I... I'm..." I'm really hesitant to tell him. I don't want to worry him.
"It's nothing." I said as I wipe my tears and gave him a smile, but that didn't reassured him.
He was quite.
He looked at my eyes for a very long time until he gave a long sigh.
"You don't think you can trust me?" He said with a voice that made me felt guilty.
"No! That's not it!" I back fired.
"Then why are you lying to me?" He once again locked my eyes with his. His face were demanding for an answer. "I am your mate. I feel what you feel, we are linked with each other. I can feel your heart hurting, and I can't just ignore this just because you said its nothing. I am hurt when you say your fine when actually your not. My love... Tell me... I can feel that your scared... Anxious... What's been bothering you? Please tell me." He said with tears flowing down on his cheeks.
My heart clench when I saw him crying.
My proud alpha is crying because of me.
"Don't cry..." I smudge his tears with mu long sweater.
"I love you with all of my heart..." I paused for a moment and looked at his eyes. "And because that I love you that I'm crying."
His eyes widened from my statement and he held my hands close to his chest. I can feel him being scared.
"All the things that I love were taken away from me. My family.... My friends... I all loved them. And as time goes by their presence although gone is still present in my heart. And it pains me... I fear that maybe... You'll leave my side one day.... Someday."
The moment I expressed myself I bursted into tears. Arterius stayed quite. Then a sudden warmth was rapped around me; securing me.
"My love look at me." He said huskily, but I continued to cry on his shoulder.
He took my chin his fingers and gently made me look at him; tears still running.
"I appreciate that you're worried being separated with me, but that will never happen. Even if it means conquering the world just to keep you close with me I.Will.Do.It! So you don't have to worry. You and our bundle of joy here just have to relax and rest because I will not be leaving your side. I promise you that. You're the reason why I founded this pack... I became the top and I was feared and respected. All because I wanted to create a place for you to be safe. I waited and waited to the point it was getting hopeless.... But I never stopped becoming the top...because I know one day, in the right time I will soon find you. I'm not perfect; I'm cruel, cold blooded and vicious. I was best for being a monster. I was betrayed several times, and killed multiple times without feeling any remorse.... And when I realized that I was becoming what the people says that I am. I lost it. I was frustrated.... I laid with different kinds of women. I stopped looking for you, and just when I stopped I found you. Hurdled by those alphas addicted by your scent...... I first encounter wasn't at all romantic like I always hoped for. That time I was still cold towards you. I even killed that woman in front of you..... I..... I'm truly sorry. I wish I could reverse time and correct my past mistakes...."
At the end of his sentence he couldn't look at me in the eyes.
"You were right... I don't deserve you." He said as his grip tighten. "But as selfish as I can be. I'm not letting you go either. And I'm sorry for that...." This time he looked at my eyes and I could see he was begging for forgiveness.
Should I forgive him.
My heart tells me so...
My wolf is technically screaming that he forgives him.... But...
"I will forgive you..."
He gave me a wide smile and I think his eyes were actually shining... Is it just the sun?
"Only when you visit the woman you once killed in front of me." I said looking at his eyes cooping his cheeks.
He looked at me like he just saw a ghost and said;
"But Rex already discarded her body-"
"I asked him to gave her a proper burial." I said cutting him off. "Only if you repent what you did to her and your child, only then that I will fully forgive you. And you will visit her grave every year."
"My love.... You did all of that?" He asked in disbelief.
"She didn't deserve that kind of treatment..." I said looking at his eyes. "Pray for her soul and ask for her forgiveness... Dead or alive.... A body may rot but I do believe that a soul will remain as it is."
It was a long silence after that. He was debating with himself.
"Fine. I'll do just that."
"And Arterius..." I said adding up.
"Yes love?"
"Do it sincerely..." I said seriously. He nodded in reply and he hugged my waist but not too tight.
We both enjoyed the last bit of light that the sun was releasing until darkness fully consumed the sky.
"Joanah." I said suddenly.
"Huh? Whose she?" He asked confused.
"Your late daughter Arterius. I named her Joanah."
He widen his eyes and gave me a looked that he regretted everything.
"I... I.... I had a daughter... And...I... I...." Arterius clenched his fist and buried his head on my waist more.
I can feel him... His emotions... Regrets... Guilt.... Remorse....
I stayed silent and made him reflect everything. I softly played with his hair as he begun to cry harder.
We were both broken people...
I know he didn't meant everything what he did... But it doesn't mean I will tolerate it. I will help him become a better person now that I'm around. He lost his humanity... Unknowingly because of me. That's why we'll get through this together.....
"Let's visit her grave starting tomorrow." I softly said on his ear.
He nodded in reply.
I could hear sniffles and I feel like my lover half is drenched in tears.
But I didn't mind...
I let him cry..
To his heart's content.
