Lessons Learned

Prologue

~ 6 Months Earlier ~

I'm in the bridal suite with my sister, trying to be happy for her. I try to erase the image of my fiance and his co-worker fucking on his desk. Her legs were up in the air and he was grunting in pleasure. He never put so much effort into our sexual encounters.

"Briel, are you listening to me?" my sister, Stacey asks me. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I just zoned out. I'm ready when you are," I tell her with a fake smile.

Unfortunately, as my sister's Maid of Honor, I'm going to have to make a speech and be happy doing it. All I am is miserable. I went to pick up my fiance for the rehearsal dinner last night, but instead I got the shock of my life. Why do these things always happen to me? I'm never going to have a wedding like this. I'm never going to be content and happy. I have a great job as a 1st grade teacher and I love my job. Why can't I find a man to keep me happy? I haven't even told anyone what I saw last night. I didn't want to ruin my sister's moment. I went to the rehearsal dinner and I smiled and acted as if my heart wasn't completely shattered.

As I make my way down the aisle and see my brother-in-law's smile, I feel my eyes fill with tears. I take my place as The Wedding March comes on and my sister glides down the aisle on my father's arm. Instead of watching her, I watch Brady, my sister's fiance. His smile is so big and I see tears forming in his brown eyes.

As they exchange vows, my mind goes blank and I envision me as an old maid with ten cats. I used to joke about being an old maid when I was single and dating around. Then, I met Jason and I thought he had changed everything. He swept me off my feet and within a year of dating, he proposed. I thought we were happy. Where did things go wrong? I was the one that wanted sex all the time. I should've known that the reason he didn't want sex was because he was getting it elsewhere. I'm such a fucking fool. I guess the jokes on me.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride," the priest announces as Brady pulls my sister into his arms and kisses her softly. "Ladies and gentleman, I now pronounce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Brady Williams."

After I make my heartfelt speech that probably oozes of bitterness, I find a bottle of champagne and make my way outside. I need fresh air desperately. And alcohol. Lots of alcohol to numb the pain.

"So this is where you escaped to," my dad says to me as he sits next to me. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You've been acting strangely," he asks me, concerned. "I didn't want to ruin Stacey's day, dad. I went to pick up Jason at work, so we could head to the rehearsal dinner. When I walked into his office, he was fucking one of his blonde co-workers," I finally breakdown and sob in my father's arms.

"That fucking asshole. I'll kill him!" my dad growls as he holds me tight and strokes my hair. "My baby girl. No one is going to ever be good enough for you, in my eyes. I just want you to be happy. What do you need a stupid man for anyway? You always have me, sweetheart and I will always love you," he whispers in my ear. "I know daddy, but I thought he was different. I gave him my heart and he stomped all over it. I thought I was done dating all those other jerks, meanwhile I was going to marry one!" I erupt into more sobs. I eventually stop crying and start drinking more. My father goes back inside to dance with my sister.

My mind wanders and I think about my feelings of abandonment. My mother left us when I was eight years old. I was old enough to remember her and cry over her leaving. I wish she would've left when I was a baby, so I wouldn't miss her like I do. I was a child, so of course I always held out hope that she would come back one day and want to be a family again. My sister was twelve when our mother left. Stacey was more bitter and angry, than sad. She never speaks of our mother.

Thank god we had my father. My dad has been the one constant in my life. He was the one who taught me to ride a bike. He taught me to be generous and kind to others. He always took us to church every Sunday and made sure that we had a good relationship with God. I learned how to cook, how to pray, and how to forgive others who have done you wrong. 'Yeah I won't be forgiving Jason anytime soon. Sorry, dad,' I think to myself as I take another swig of my champagne bottle.