"Mrs. De Robiano D'Arcy, I can see where Harper Coco gets her good looks from" Really? He had to go there? She looked nothing like her mother, or her father for that matter, stop sucking up to them, I know you're trying to be nice and diplomatic here, but this is ridiculous. But his good intentions definitely seemed to work, they were obviously charmed by him, with him they could look right through the 'artistic and unusual' long hair..so that was why he had dressed so smart..just to try and score some good points, stupid ass!. Jared took a step back from the warm greeting he had given to her mother and turned, uh-oh..she looked like she was about to unleash a hurricane, she and her father just stood there staring each other down, looks of dissaproval and pure hate shot back and forth. "Shall we?" Jared tried to lighten the mood, inviting them all to sit down, her father courteously pulled back his wife's chair but when Jared tried to do the same for Harper, he was met by eyes full of venom and she simply swatted at his hands and pulled back her own chair before she plopped down. It was an act of rebellion that was of course met by another dissaproving stare from her parents, under the table Jared tried to reach for her hand but she quickly pulled it away and leaned back in her chair, talk to me, look at me, I don't care what you do, just don't ignore me Harper, please! I'm doing this for you. "So, Mr. Leto, you are an actor?" her father picked up the conversation "call me Jared, please! And yes I act but I also have a band..with my brother, we've just embarked on a world tour actually". I need to get away from here, what the hell is this fuckery? Look at me, just fuckin' look at me, talk to me and stop pretending I'm not even here, "I see..you will have to forgive me, Mr. Leto..oh sorry, Jared of course" her Dad gave him a sugary smile "but I googled your name last night and I saw that you even won an Oscar?". What?? she couldn't take this any longer, threw her napkin on the table and got up "excuse me", stomping off without even looking at them, because if she did, then she would surely burst out into tears. "Harper?..Coco? Wait!" half way across the lobby he tried to stop her, "let go of me" she yanked her arm, "Coco, stop!" but he was stronger than her and grabbed both her arms. "What's wrong?" oh he didn't know? "nothing, go back to your new found friends, you're getting on like a house on fire" she snapped, "Harper, darling, I'm doing this for you..I'm trying..and I need you to try as well".
One pair of eyes full of hurt and disappointment met the other pair of eyes filled with a mix of fear and hope, "come on, please, we're all here now..", no, I don't want to, I'm still shaking just seeing my Dad again, everything just comes flooding back and it's taking my breath away. "Come" he whispered and slowly started pulling her back to the dining room "it'll be ok, I promise" he tried to reassure her, "I don't know" he felt her hand tremble in his as he guided her back to the table where her parents were shooting her more disapproving looks. Food was put on the table as they sat down again, temperature below zero, this was gonna be a looooonnnggg morning.
"Harper?! Will you stop?! Hey, I'm talking to you!" for the second time today he was chasing after her after she had stomped off in a blazing fury again. "Yes!" she stopped dead in her tracks "yes, you're actually talking to me now, lucky me" she huffed and continued on her furious way back to their room, followed by him with his heart hammering in his throat. "What the hell did I do? I don't get it" he didn't want to but he couldn't help raise his voice at her, "nothing, you clearly don't understand" there was a despair and an anger in her voice that he had never heard before, they had a few squabbles before but never anything serious, but she was seething with anger, their first official fight, it hadn't even properly started and already he was scared senseless about what was to follow and the seriousness of it. "Explain it to me then!" he kicked the door shut with his foot "what did I do? What the fuck did I do?" he yelled, while watching her grab a bag, whoaa, wait a minute, "They didn't talk to me, my father didn't even fuckin' look at me" she was shaking like a leaf when she stopped for a second with what she was doing. "And that is my fault, because?" things were escalating rapidly, "what?!!? so now you're on their side? Figures, 'oh Jared, you won an oscar' and 'you are such a talented man, Jared' " she nearly puked repeating her parents' words "they disown me, they cut me off financially, emotionally, just because I wanted a career in painting, but hey they're about to adopt you exactly because they admire your artistic career?" she shouted, losing control every second. "For fuck's sakes, Harper, I have my career and I've worked very hard to get where I am, so basically I have to suffer and be ashamed for having a succesful career, just because you're jealous? You're jealous because you don't even have career, you don't have the tiniest glimmer of chance at a career, goddammit!" the second he said it, he regretted it. All colour drained from her face, her lips formed a silent 'O' like a fish out of water, gasping for air, no don't react, don't say a word, don't give him that satisfaction, this is wrong, all wrong, this was a mistake, her heart hurt so much, it felt like it would explode, the man she had trusted with her life..with her heart, was handing it back to her, ripped to shreds on a platter. He didn't believe in her, he had just told her she sucked at the only thing she loved doing with body, mind and soul..just like she had been told all her life, first her parents, and now him. Pulling most of her clothes into her bag with one swipe of her arm, she zipped it up with one angry yank, "Harper, what are you doing?" his mouth went dry, no, no, no, stay here, I'm sorry, just stay here, stay with me. "I'm leaving..I can't deal with all this shit any longer, I can't be with someone who doesn't believe in me, not my parents, and not you as you've clearly got your heart set on making a bloody idiot out of me, and I think I've given you more than enough ammo to do so, and that was the dumbest mistake I've ever made..no more, Jared" she spat and dangerously raised her index finger at him, her voice completely hoarse. "No..Harper" an iron fist of fear clamped around his vocal chords, no, no, he walked up to her, locking his hand around her wrist, but she spun around "LET..GO!" she hissed like a cat "you let go of me and you forget all about me and my stupid paintings, and forget I've even existed which won't be so hard to do for you, more than choice enough waiting to throw themselves at your feet" her voice was going from horse to completely gone at an alarming speed, and she left, her heart under her arm.
The argument at the table with her parents, or better the monologue she held right before she stormed out, they didn't even look at her, they just sat there completely ignoring her, Jared who sat there too clearly ashamed of her, him mocking her work, it was too much, too much. Her phone bleeped incessantly, but it didn't matter, it didn't matter anymore, "Flight UA5987 to New York JFK, boarding in half an hour, terminal D, gate 18" the man behind the desk handed her the boarding card, this was a rash decision..no, it wasn't, she needed to get out of here, far away from the memories, old and new, done, another painful lesson learned. PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!!!! he threw his own across the room with a deafening yell, where was she? I'm not gonna sleep on it, I'm not gonna let this escalate, me and my fuckin' big mouth, how could I be such a goddamn prick? This is not the end, no, this was just a row, keep telling yourself that, you've hurt her in the most disgusting way, you insulted her wonderful, raw talent in the cruelest way.
From: BJLCubbins
To: HCDeRobiano
Subject: FORGIVE ME!
Darling,
it's all I can ask, that you forgive me, I honestly didn't mean it, surely we can talk about it?
You're the love of my life, believe that, and believe that I do believe in you and admire you.
I miss you so much it hurts..
your (heartbroken) Jay
10 hours later, there she was, in the middle of New York, looking up at the tall building in front of her, damn this jetlag was crippling, just go inside, you're cold and sleep deprived and you can't think straight. 'Beep' her heart jumped in her throat as her trembling, cold fingers unlocked her phone, tears unabashedly streaming down her face, you're sorry now? You stupid fuck! I thought you were the one, I finally gave in to thinking that I too deserved happiness and that I had finally found a real man, my man... The cold wind nearly turned her tears to ice, she quickly wiped them away with a heartfelt curse and pushed the key in the lock, up the stairs, push away the thought that he had been here too, don't think about those beautiful moments because they never existed, he wasn't real. The door creaked a little and she stomped inside the loft where she was met by the familiar scent of paint and thinner, she dropped her bag and walked up to the wall, there it was, her painting that had started this whole mess, he was right, it was absolutely ghastly, not an inch or smidge of talent visible. Jared.Sean..her parents, a devilish trinity..she kicked the canvas so hard it almost toppled over and she lost her balance, sinking to her knees to end up curled into a ball on the cold, hard concrete, crying her heart out, let me die, just let me die right here, right now, I'm ready.
"What do you mean, you can't do it? You can't play this show? Jared, you haven't got a choice, there's a sold-out venue waiting for you, they're all there!" Shannon yelled nervously at his brother. He looked a mess, bloodshot eyes, his hair carelessly pulled into a messy bun, slippers on his feet, trackpants, what the fuck was going on? He had been gone for three quarter of a day, hiking with Stevie only to come back to this, his brother a mess and Coco..nowhere to be seen. "Where's Harper? You two had a fight or something?" Jared's head shot up finally, "she's gone...she's gone!" and pushed back against Shannon. "What do you mean she's gone? You two had a fight?!..look, she just needs to blow off steam probably, have you called her?" Shannon didn't know what to say, and he didn't care, all that mattered was getting his brother on stage, he would care about his brother's lovelife later. "SHE WON'T PICK UP HER FUCKING PHONE" he yelled, the vein under his eye dangerously close to popping while he started kicking the wall so hard with his foot he was sure he was gonna break it. "Hey! Jared, stop! Ok stop!" he grabbed his brother's shirt and shook him like he wanted to shake some sense into him, "she'll be back, alright? Stop worrying, it's a stupid fight, it's not the end of the world, she's just headstrong and needs to get things out of her system, you know what she's like..she walked off before, right?". Jared's head carefully lifted, a gleam of hope in his eyes, ok keep going, this is going in the right direction, the direction of the stage "She'll be back, I promise, for all you know, she's standing in the crowd right now just to piss you off and surprise you later on". Thousand of miles on the other side of the ocean, a young woman had trouble breathing, she didn't feel the cold that was slowly crippling her whole body, anymore, nothing mattered, nothingnothingnothing, just cover me in darkness.
