Broken

Chapter 2: Why?

It was saturday morning now... I looked towards my alarm clock.. it said 9:30.. right on the dot.

BUZZZZZ!!!

I went scrambling for my phone to see who texted me. I riped through all the covers and eventually found it underneath my pillow.

HEY KAT, ITS AUSTIN, IF U CAN, WE SHOULD HANG LATER AT THE MALL OR SOMETHING ... I WANNA SEE U.... TEXT ME SOON BYEE ♥

Why me Austin... why would you want to see me? A girl who you only met because of some random guy in detention and skated with yesterday?  Why would you call me beautiful?  ... you haven't even heard of my story... why? Just why?! I dont understand...

All of these thoughts rumbled through ny mind, causing me a migraine.... I need to get my pills... I haven't took any yet.

I started taking these pills last year.. one when I first wake up and two during the day. I wake up with migraines all the time so thats the morning pill. The one during the day is my anti-depression medication and my anxiety medicine. I had a really hard time growing up. My dad would always leave us.. lieing and says he has to travel for work again.. when he just goes and sleeps around with any girl he'll find..

My mom was okay... but she never really was home because she got a full-time job working as a cook at some type of resturant... I cant really remember the name of it.. it was always to hard to pronounce anyways. But whenever she was home... she would either catch my dad with some girl or they would argue... I'd always lock myself in the bathroom or hide in the attic until they stop because I hate yelling... I always have.

Eventually. .. sometime when I was 9 or 10, they finally divorced each other.. and my mom took full custody of us and we moved in with my grandmother in California until we had enough money to get an apartment near grandma's house.

Even though its been so many years.. the memories haunt me... Ill even have my mom running in the room late at night... waking me up from my night terrors... me screaming or crying or even failing around in my sleep. Then she'll fetch me my morning pills and let me take them earlier than I should... just for the fact my head feels like it about to punch though my skull, and sing me some lullaby she would always sing when I was about 7.  It was such a pretty song...

" Darling now close your little eyes.

Everything is now alright.

Darling now rest your head,

So that tomorrow you can start a new day.

Your my little angle, nothing will ever harm you.

Your safe here... mommy is here."

She'd say to me.... it was so lovely. .. I'll even sing it to my brother every once in a while.. he's now 11.

....I serched to find some clothes for today.... I found a black and white striped crock top and a black skirt with some ripped pantyhose and I found some slippers. I bunched up all of the clothes and threw them in the corner of my bathroom and took a quick shower.  Undressing my self.. I see all the marks I made on myself.. on my thighs .... I totally regret them.

I scrambled out and wrapped the towel around me and wiped my mirror so I can see my own reflection. I had black marks on my face.. must of forgot to remove my mascara from yesterday. I began to remove my makeup from yesterday, took face cleaner and cleaned my entire face. I applied moisturizer and began to do my make up, of course adding my special wing to go with my look for today.

I hope today will be a good day...I thought to myself.

"Mom!!! Im going out! I'll be back before dark!! Love you!!" I shouted through house. "Okay!! Love you too sweetie!" She replied. 

I walked towards the door and let out a big sigh.... "Here we go.." I said to myself.. and I opened the door and began to text Austin to let him know I was free to go the mall. Why am I going with hom anyway...? I asked myself.... why??