TayNew/ PeteKao Drabbles

Broken pieces

TayNew Fanfiction #1

"Do you still want to do this, Kao?"

Kao stops from writing and looks at Pete who is now beside him. He maneuvers and face him. His eyes were different from how it looks like the day he confessed to him.

"What are you talking about, Pete? What's your problem?" it took him a lot of patience not to sound irritated by his question.

"Kao, please." and as he heard how Pete pleadingly call his name, he knows this time he cannot run away from this.

When did this started anyway? Was it when they knew they have different plans after their graduation? Or was it when Pete met up with his ex-girlfriend and he looked so happy talking to her. Although he had explained that they just patch things up and decided to be just friends, his mind can't get out of Pete's smile looking at her in an adoring way. He loved her, and for who knows, he still does.

But he knows it's no that. Kao knows to himself that one of the things that caused this is his insecurities.

"I am busy, Pete. Let's just please talk—"but before Kao can even finish his sentence, Pete cut him out.

"Let's break up" it took every ounce of Pete's strength just to tell him those words. His throat is burning from saying it but he can't take it back. It's now or never. He have to say it or no one will. He knows that Kao knows they're heading here anyway, but the pain is still greater than he ever imagined how it'll feel.

"Is this a joke? Stop this nonsense, Pete!" he doesn't know if he's angry with what Pete said or hurt because he spoke that unspoken word but all he knows is that every strength in his body seems to just disappear all of a sudden.

Pete wanted to hug Kao when he call his name in a desperate and pleading voice. He can feel how hurt he is and believe it or not his heart breaks upon hearing his voice like that. His heart breaks more than it breaks Kao's. Because for all it's worth, hurting Kao is the last thing he wanted to do.

But Pete stay rooted to where he is. He hold on to his decision, because they can't continue living in a lie that they are okay.

"We can't be together like this, Kao. You know that, right? We can't be in a relationship when there's only half of us."

"We can, and we will. Why are you always like this? Why are you always running away when we have problems? Why can't you just stay first and try to fix this? Let's try to fix us! Why can't you try first? Why does it seems to me that it is so easy for you to just take flight?"

"You know I am not running away, Kao. I am not letting us go because I don't want us anymore, you also know that this, we can't fix this. We can't fix what's broken anymore, Kao. We have cause each other great amount of pain that it can already ruin us."

"Who are you to decide about our relationship alone, huh, Pete? I have a say on this too! Ruin us? How could our love just ruin us?"

"Kao" Pete said in a pleading voice and it hurts Kao hearing it. How did they end up here anyway?

"I don't understand you, Pete. You love me, I love you but why? Why do you want us to break up? Is our love not enough? Is it not enough for you to hold on? To fix things?" Kao desperately asks and holds Pete's hand as if it will vanish.

"It isn't, Kao. You know that. Not anymore."

"So this is it? We're just going to break up and not try? Don't you believe we can fix this?"

Pete sigh heavily, he badly wants to stay too but he knows that doing so, they'll just cover up the misunderstanding and problems they have.

"We can only mend things, Kao, but it will never be the same. What we both need is to heal. Separately. We should heal ourselves first before we decide if we still can or we'll just have to take different paths" he knows that they are both hurting and neither Kao nor he, will have it easy the days after this. But the hurt is overpowering the love they have for each other, and Pete is afraid for them to end up hating each other and ending things on a bad note.

"I love you, Pete. You know that right?" Pete hugs him immediately. He hug him so tight wishing Kao would feel all the love he have for him.

"And I love you too, Kao. So much, that's why I know we should put an end to this while we're on our right minds. You get me, right? I don't want us to come to a point, where the only left in us for each other are painful memories." Kao nods his head but didn't let go of the hug they're sharing. A part of him wish that what's happening was just a dream but another part of him knows that what he said was the best for them.

"Listen to me, Kao. If by the time we are both healed up, and our paths have crossed again, and we still feel the same, we still love each other, let's try again? Hmmm?"

"Okay. But once that happened, I am not letting you go, Pete. Okay? Do you understand? No matter how many times you say to let go, I'm not going to, okay?"

This time, they both freed their tears.

"Okay. You know I won't too."

They whispered I love you's until both of them can't say it anymore.

Pete cups his face and looked at him, the way he had looked at him when he first said he loves him.

"I love you, so much, Kao" and he kissed him. He didn't know that the sweetest kiss can be painful, but it can.

Sometimes love is not enough to make the relationship works. And some people meant to go separate ways to know where they should be. Whether they'll end up crossing each others path or not, at least they're a precious memory for each other.