TayNew/ PeteKao Drabbles

Nozomi

A/N: All Bold and Italicized words/paragraphs are conversations in the past. Also, I haven't proofread this so, yeah. Enjoy and thank you for reading my fics even though it's not that good! Hahahaha :) Stay safe and wash your hands!!

"It's not always the goodbye that hurts. Sometimes it's the thought, that all you can have now are the memories you two shared. The good and the bad. And maybe, the worst part is remembering the good ones, because no matter how you badly want it to happen again, it won't."

"If there is one thing, I know that is right as of the moment, it's you and me" I didn't bother to hide the smile that's creeping out my mouth "I love you and there's no way it will change. Not now, not ever. I love you." I laugh at how corny he is.

"And I you. Always have, always will" he then kiss me full in the lips.

"But?" he always knows there's a 'but' in everything I say. I smile at him.

"But in the end, you will still choose to reminisce everything. Especially the good ones, because no matter how painful it can get, it will still be worth it. Because they are worth it."

"Hin, will you ever give me the chance to spend every sunrise and sunsets of my entire life with you?" tears are already evident in his eyes, goodness gracious, how I love this man.

"Yes. It's always yes" and between our I love you's are the kisses I know I will not miss anymore. Because our forever starts now.

"You know, sometimes I wonder how you do it?"

I look at him quizzically."Do what?"

"That. Always thinking that there is another side to everything. Looking past through what we see. Always thinking about the good out of it" he said as he looks up the sky. "You know, before I thought it's just you making up excuses to the people you love for you can't believe they can hurt you but I'm wrong. How do you do it, Pa?" I smiled. I remember when he was a baby looking at us for help when he doesn't understand anything about something.

"I'm sorry" marami pa ang sinabi ng doktor na paliwanag pero tanging ang paghinge niya ng tawad ang narinig ko. Wala akong marinig, wala akong maramdam, tila namanhid ang aking buong katawan habang ang mga mata ko ay napako ang tingin sa pintuan na naghihiwalay sa aming dalawa.

Parang isang rumaragasang tubig ang lumunod sa akin sa mga alaalala na aming pinagsamahan.

"Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal. Hanggang maubos any lahat ng bukas, ganoon kita kamahal" bulong ko sa hangin na kasama ng aking hiling na kaniya itong madinig.

I smile "I honestly don't know. Siguro kase napagod akong magalit, mag-isip ng hindi maganda. Alam mo 'yon? Nakakapagod din kase na puro ganoon 'yung iniisip mo sa mga nangyayare sa'yo. Nakakapagod pala. Atsaka minsan, sarili mo lang ang maaasahan mo para tumulong sa'yo na pagaanin yung nararamdaman mo. It's not like, every time you'll feel down or something bad came up, someone would be there. Sometimes there's just Him and yourself, and you have to deal with it that way. Because sometimes people get tired of us drowning ourselves in sorrow."

"New, anong katangahan ba 'tong ginawa mo? Muntik mo ng mapatay ang sarili mo!" tinignan ko lang siya ng masama.

"Paano kung gusto ko na nga? Ha!" isang malutong na sampal ang sagot na nakuha ko sa kaniya.

"Hindi lang ikaw ang nawalan. Nawalan din ako ng kaibigan, nawalan sila tita ng anak at higit sa lahat nawalan si Nozomi ng ama! Tapos ngayon gusto mo na pati ikaw mawalan sa kaniya? Ganiyan ka ba talaga? Napakamakasarili mo!"

Isa-isang tumulo ang mga luha na kanina pa nagbabadyang lumandas sa kaniyang mga pisngi.

"Hindi lang ikaw ang nasaktan, New. Kami rin. At kung napapagod ka sa sakit na nararamdaman mo, kami din. New, walang ibang makakatulong sa'yo kundi ang sarili mo at kung hindi mo makuhang mag move forward para sa sarili mo sana gawin mo para sa anak niyo. Para sa anak mo, dahil kailangan ka niya higit pa sa kailangan mo si Tay."

"But people who loves you, don't give up on you."

"You really are brave, Papa."

"Believe me, I'm not. I ran away a couple of times but then they helped me see things I should've seen for a long time. Then I stopped running. I stopped being afraid. I stopped questioning Him and the things that are happening to me. Instead I face it, head-on. Sure it wasn't easy but the thing is, when you're the one left behind, you've got to move forward. Plus, I always look at you and remember how life had been so good to me. Because despite everything, you're with me, Nozomi."

"I had a dream Pa" When I look at him, his eyes mirrors the shine Tay has when he's about to tell you something fascinating. I smile.

"What kind of dream?"

"A happy one po. I see you and dad, laughing, running and goofing around like crazy people beside the beach po. Like how we did during summers po" I almost choke out a sob but I look up and calm myself down.

"Tell me more."

"I saw dad, smiling and he talked to me! He said he's proud of you, of me. And that, he loves us. That he loves you, until all sunsets and sunrise are gone."

"Still, you're a strong man."

"Yeah, I am, and you are our brave, smart, and loving child. And I am so blessed I have you as my son. Nozumi, mahal ka namin."

"Papa, what would I do without you?" And then he hugged me.

"Live, Nozomi. You have to live. Alam ko namang kaya mo eh, kinaya mo nga kahit tayong dalawa, kakayanin mo din kahit na ikaw na lang. Isa pa, hindi naman talaga ako mawawala. Sasamahan ko lang ang daddy mo. Dalawa na kaming mag babantay sa'yo. Mahal na mahal kita anak. Mahal na mahal ka namin."

"What should we name him?" Tay asked while looking at their son lovingly.

"Nozomi. Let's name our little angel, Nozomi" New didn't asked Tay why because he already knows what it means.

"Nozomi it is." Tay kissed the baby's forehead and put his head on New's shoulder.

"Now I can rest assure that no matter what happens, there is hope that will be with you. With us. I love you New, and I love our little angel."

"I you, Tawan. Always."

A/N:

Nozomi

Although the name Nozomi is generally written with the kanji for wish 望, hope 希, のぞみ in hiragana, or ノゾミ in katakana, it can have other different meanings depending on which kanji is used. (Wikipedia)