Dear Kurt,
You know the hardest part about being numb for so long? When you feel an emotion. And it just...bubbles up inside you and overflows, and I'm so relieved to just...feel something again.
But I shouldn't be relieved. I can't, not when I'm exposed to it now. And it's filling me up and feels like lava, and I'm scared and angry and feel like any minute I'll explode.
And it's hard to see, because it's white-hot bursts inside me like camera flashbulbs, and I can't get a grip on myself because I can't remember what it's like to feel something.
So it claws at my insides and I want to scream and cry and break something, I just need something that will slam me back into reality.
I swear I didn't mean to when I broke the blade out of the razor. I swear it wasn't my intention to hold it tight between my fingers and make a mess of my skin.
But it happened. And I cut into my wrist with the blade and couldn't make myself stop, because it felt like I was finally starting to breathe.
And I calmed down and shook and dropped the blade when the ribbons of red criss-crossed to my elbow, and I leaned back on the wall and thought of you.
I was so close to joining you, Kurt. I was so close. But you're still so far, and I'm here in this hell. I'll try again Kurt, I promise. I won't fail next time.
I failed, I'm sorry. I can't help but fail at everything I do. But I won't next time. I'll see you, Kurt. I need you.
I love you.
YOU ARE READING
Until We Meet Again: Klaine
Fanfic"I thought of you with love Today but that is nothing new. I thought about you Yesterday and days Before that too. I think of you in silence I often speak your name. All I have are memories and Your picture in a frame." -Unknown
