Meating hairy

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by --emerly

by --emerly

DISCLAIMER/APOLOGY: I haven't written anything on here in years and I just decided to log on one night and I found these cursed words that you are about to read flowing out from the depths my mind. It was pretty late and I was kind of out of it and I wrote this in like an hour and its absolutely awful yet im strangely proud of it. read at your own risk. my apologies. (also no secsy secsy or anything close to it. 1000000% christian-friendly content.)

Okay so this is my real story and i fdont carer if u believ me or nawt bcus i kno that this is real okay so anyway my name is mckenna and i liv in amerrica and so anyway one day i was in walmart rite with my ukulele because im quirky doe :^ and i take my ukulele to all my important social functions. So anyway i was standing at the counter and the counter lady was all like "Oh my god do you play ukulele?" and my palms got all sweaty and my face was all blushy red and i said "w-well i u-u-uhm i uh-" and then she said "Oh my god play something."

So anyway then i wiped my sweaty hands on my black ripped jeans and i took out my ukulele and i started playing the best song ever which is cant help falling in love by twenty one pilots who are the orignal artists of the artistic beauty rite and then i played it and then everyone in the store clapped and chheered for me and the counter lady was like "OHMYGODDD WOW" and so anyway then this guy walked up to me and he was like "that was really gud" and i was like "th-th-th-thanks uwu :3" and he wus liek "Im harry styles luv and im in a band cohld won direction and were adopting you now" and i was like "oh mhy gowd hari stylesss?""" and i was like "oh mhy god yes yes yes hairy stUyles" bcos it was hairy styles and i was so hapy to be leaving my alcoholic abusive mother who i hate and he was like cool uwu.

So so then anyway then we were all in a car and he wuz like this is liam and this is nial and this is uh the fourth one and i was like cool and then the car driver turnd around and wuz like also im zaynn. and i was like whoa.

SO then anyway i waz backstage at the concert and hairy was like "hello luvs mates pip pip cheerio id like to introduce yu to somewon relly special. and then he was like "Mckenna, come on out." and i was liek so nervous i lukd at heiry from behind stage and i was like hairy i c0hnt do this with my face i was telling him that and i think he understood bcus he walked over tyo me and he said,,

"dont wory mckenna ur the best ukulele player i hvae ever heard." ANd he stared at me with his pulsating blue orbs, making me weak in the knees and all that i could see in front of me was this beautiful british man and thEn he kissed me! and i was so shokd and happy because hairy doesnt know it but, ii have had a secret crush on him ever since i was 9 so that i blushed hard uwuwuwuwu :33333

SO anyway then i walkd out to the stage and i said "this song is dedicated to the boi i luvvvvvv" and tehn everyone was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and thenn i sang the song that is how hairy and i met and then everyone screamed and cheered and then guess wot??? hairy walkd out and held my hand and said "also everyone, this is my gorlfriend!!!" and then he made out with me right on stage which is quite strange considiring im only like forteen 0w0 buht watevr lol uwu so then anyway everyone cheered except for this one girl who was in the front row i could see her out of the corner of my closed eye fuuMING and then she screched like a terradactol and then everyone stopd what they were doing and locked their orbs on her.

it was instantly in that moment that i recognized her as the girl who bullys me evry single day in shcool OMG she is the wurst!!! i hate her!!! she is the reason that i haf no friends she tells everyone that i eat bees and she makes fun of me every single day just because i like dan and phil, 20 wun pilots, and anime and she is the reason that i cut myselkf!!!!!!! her name chessicka. and she wears a bigger bra than me.

so anyeway than chessicka actually jumps up like 20 feet onto the stage and then she actully grows into a dragon whoa emarasing !! and then she3 breathz fire at me! and screeches "hairy is mine"!!! And then she knocks me with her tail and i fall back and then she is about to kill me but then hairy jumps in front of her and is leik "NO!" and then he starest at her with his pulsating blue orbs in a way that was so powerful that it made her fall back and die!

and then everyone clapped.

Hairy ran up to me, pickd me up, held me in his arms and siad "Mc,kenna", "will u mari me???" and then i said yesyesyes heiry and then everwun clapd again wuhu!!!!!1

Anyhow, that is how I met the love of my life and soulmate hayry stiles. Today, we are happily married with three children and a pet chicken. Hari quit his band one direction so he could make music with me for the rest of his career. We made several number 1 albums together and toured many times. We became the next sonny and cher, only not divorced and hery can actually sing. After our music careers started to fade out, we decided to settle down and start a family which is how we got to where we are today. Heray still teases me though, because I never learned how to spell his name properly, but I think it's cute. In conc o lusion, taht is teh stori of how i onne time met haory stils at walmart thanx 4 reading!!!! xoxo.