New Light.

three.

Lost in my own thoughts, I tried to think of things to do on my own. John had left four hours ago. I decided to invite my friend Harper over, I needed someone to talk too and at the moment she was all I had.

The doorbell rang as I ran up to get it, revealing Harper with some junk food and a movie. "heyyyy bitch!" She said as she pulled me into her embrace. I chuckled as I said hey back to her. Setting up the food she brought, she looked at me puzzled. "Okay, whats wrong" She asked before putting a Cheeto in her mouth. "It's John" I replied before she rolled her eyes. Did I mention Harper was a massive Taylor Swift fan?

"Well, whats he done?" She asked before smiling at me. "He's done nothing. I think the problem is I cant get rid of these feelings anymore! I just want to be his friend but my heart sees so much more! I need a distraction" I sighed as I fell deeper into the couch. "oof you've been hit with the Mayer bug!" Harper chuckled as she leant into me. I cuddled back up to her as she sighed. "Lay, you need to do the best to look after you at the moment. Dont even worry about him. You're all that matters, especially to me, and I know you haven't been the best and that fucking sucks. It sucks that he cant see that and it sucks that you're feeling worthless as such" She said to me as she kissed my forehead. "Thanks for everything, Harper" I said to her as she nodded. "Its the least I could do, Lay"

"I can't believe how much you love this movie" Harper said as Twilight was coming to an end. "I know, I'm probably the only person in history to like this film. Its a banger though" I laughed as I got up to get the popcorn off the table. "Its good to see you in a better mood" Harper said to me as she watched me walk around the table. My phone buzzed and I looked over to who it was. John.

I won't be home tonight. Look after yourself x

My heart stopped and suddenly I feared everything that was Katy Perry. Surely he wouldn't be there, right? I mean, surely he knows how dangerous she is for him, right? Maybe it was time to start looking for a place of my own.

Where are you staying?

After sending that I realised how crazy I sounded. I mean, who was I to ask where he was going to be? My heart began to beat faster as I saw my phone light up on the desk.

I'm just kidding. Was seeing if you still cared, will be home in 10 x

Tears welled up in my eyes as Harper announced she was leaving. I gave her a hug and sent her on her way, before walking back down into my room. Thats where I collapsed, I began to cry. I didn't even truly know why I was crying. Why was he affecting me so incredibly much. I pulled my phone out and went through photos of back home. My family. My everything. They meant the world to me and I missed them more than anything. My sobs quickly stopped as I heard the door open and close.

"Lay?" I heard John call out as he walked through the house. This house seemed so empty with just me in it a lot of the time, it was huge and Moose was the only noise in here when it was just me. It sucked being just me. I needed someone. I needed someone. I needed somewhere to live. I couldn't stay here anymore.

"John? I'm in here" I softly called out as his footsteps came closer to my door. He opened the door with the biggest smile on his face, which shortly dropped after he saw me crying on my bed. "Lay? Whats wrong?" He asked as he rushed over to me, pulling me in a hug. This made me cry even harder. "I need to move out, John" I said to him as I looked at him through my tears. He shook his head. "No, sorry Lay but no. I won't allow that" He spoke so softly to me that I melted into his arms. "Now tell me, whats wrong?" He asked again and I sighed.

"I just need space. I need someone. With you gone 6 months a year, I get incredibly lonely and none of that is your problem. It should never have been your problem. But I just, I've done a lot of thinking and I think its time I get a place of my own. I cant expect you to look after me forever, and I'm sure I'll find a flatmate soon enough." I smiled sadly as John looked at me. "If thats what you want to do Lay" He smiled softly as he caressed my back. "How was Katy?" I asked him, sniffing. He smiled at me and shook his head. "I couldn't do it" He frowned, looking at the photos on my wall. "Maybe next time" I smiled up at him as he looked down at me, nodding. "Lay.. I don't want you to move out" John said as he moved us back to the base of my bed. "John, you've been amazing to me the last few years and I couldn't thank you enough. But sometimes you gotta set something free" I said to him as I looked at him. His eyes lit up as he looked at me again. "How about you move into my place in Montana?" John said, eyes lighting up the night sky. I thought about it for a moment.

We both loved Montana and it would mean that even though I would be alone, I would be somewhere homely. I would be in a quieter place. "I'll think about it, John" I said to him before he kissed my forehead. "Why are you so good to me?" I asked him as he was about to walk out. "I could ask you the same question, Lay"

"I'm sorry Katy, I couldn't do it" I heard John sigh as I woke up from the sleep I was in. "I don't want to go through the same heartbreak twice. Of course I still love you. Orlando, Katy, what about Orlando?" I suppressed a giggle as I heard him pacing back and forth past my bedroom. "I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later" I heard John say as he stood outside my room. Coming in, I held the covers up to my face still giggling. "Whats so funny?" John raised his eyebrow walking over to me. "Orlando is quiet a hunk, isn't he?" I said back to him before giggling again. "Oh fuck off" John replied, pushing me a little. "He is though" I crossed my arms over my chest as John hovered over me. "Hunkier than me?" John asked and I nodded before giggling again.

"That bastard!" John exclaimed before laughing iswell. "Can you play for me?" I asked him before he turned to me. I had never asked him that before, I'd never asked him to play for me. It was a first. Getting up in my t-shirt and underwear, he took my hand into the kitchen to where his piano is. Or keyboard, rather. Sitting on the kitchen bench, I looked at him in the dark. He hadn't bothered to turn the lights on. "A great Big Bang and dinosaurs, Fiery raining meteors, It all ends unfortunately" John looked at me before singing the next line, "But you're gonna live forever in me, I'll guarantee, just wait and see" My heart swelled. This was my favourite song of his, I had been there to see it come to life. And for John to sing it to me in the kitchen at 2 in the morning, me sitting on the kitchen bench wearing a shirt and him wearing his brown glasses, I took a mental image of what was going on. I began to sing, "Parts of me were made by you, And planets keep their distance too, The moon's got a grip on the sea" His eyes widened at me as he stopped playing.

"You have a voice, Lay!" He said to me excitedly as I nodded, giggling once more. "Ya know, I live for these moments" He said as he walked over towards me. "And I dont want you to move out cause I know that if you do they'd have to come to an end" He sighed, looking down at me. His phone lit up again, this time him taking no notice as he poured himself a glass of water. "Bed time" He said before walking towards his room, leaving me in silence.

"And when the pastor asks the pews, for reasons she cant marry you, I'll keep my word and my seat"