Honey

Mother

A letter to my mother that she will never read.

***

You told me before, that I was the most loved and had the most attention out of all the family and when I told you I didn't get either at all, you laughed and told me other wise.

I would like to explain to you exactly why I am right.

First off, the first 6 years of my life it was just you and me but see I don't remember them years at all, except the excessive amount of boyfriends you had and that I had to deal with.

Then my step-father came into the picture and because you "loved" him, all the attention was placed onto your new boyfriend and I was placed to the side.

I spent the next lot of years playing dolls by myself because you never wanted to play, I chased boys and became obsessed with boyfriends because not only was I brought up with that but because they actually gave me attention.

Then my little sister came in and I love her of course but she then stole your attention.

I then got to high school where, I'm pretty sure every single teenager doesn't want to be with their parents.

I'm now here, out of school...still alone, no love and no attention. You barely talk to me and if so it's about things you like and you hate when I talk about my interests, you obviously don't like me around because you tell me to move out every 2 days, I have a sister that abuses me, a father that calls me a slut and a mother that hardly knows I exist.

And it made me realise a few things... I found out why I hate myself and that's because I was never loved or admired and so I ran after compliments and admiration.

You and I can never hold a conversation because it's all about you.

So as I sit in my room and think about what you said to me and as I lay out all my reasoning then maybe hopefully you can see that I'm right.

Except there's one problem...

You'll never read this message.