Cassiel

2- Grief

       I jolted awake, a dull ache in my head as I sit up, a chill running down my spine because of the lack of coverage in the back of my hospital gown. I groan holding my head and looking around my vacant room.

      I look down at my bed and finding a button and press it, knowing it'll alert the nurses. Sure enough only a moment later a nurse walks in with a clipboard in hand, making her way to the bedside. She looks up from the clipboard and smiles at me. "How are you feeling?" she questions, taking her eyes off me as she scribbles a few notes down on her clipboard.

      "Physically  I have a slight headache, mentally I feel kinda numb," I say, watching her write more on her clipboard before walking over to my heart monitor and checking my vitals.

       "Why do you feel emotionally numb Scarlett?"

        "I feel like it's an appropriate feeling after being a survivor of a car crash that killed the rest of my family," I say making her freeze and turn around to look at me in shock.

        "How did you know that?" she whispered, eyes wide as she looked at me.

      "I'm intuitive," I lie, remembering Cassiel's sorrowful gaze when he told me.

~~~~

       After a few more hours and a lot of questions about what I remembered about the crash, how I felt, I was released from the hospital.

      The hospital was probably a bit too far for it to be sensible for me to walk home, but I didn't really have any other options seeing as I didn't have my wallet or my phone.

      I started walking, shoving my hands into the pair of skinny black jeans that someone had dropped off for me at the hospital, along with a worn out band t-shirt and my leather jacket and boots.

~~~~

     After about an hour of walking I found myself coming to the edge of the woods, my house probably about a mile or two down the road. Instead of walking along the busy road I decided to track into the woods, ducking under branches and climbing over fallen trees as I go, breathing in the fresh scent of pine trees all around me.

      As I got farther and farther into the woods I felt my numbness start to disintegrate, leaving me with a feeling of sad emptiness. Why couldn't I have died too? Why had I survived? My brother Lucian had everything, amazing grades, star athlete, popular. He had an amazing future ahead of him, yet I'm the nobody that lived. The emo girl who had no friends, barely passing grades, and no athletic promise.

       He was my twin, my other half. No matter how popular he was at school, he always made time for me. He was always there for my through thick and thin, patiently by my side even when I gave him shit for a week every month. He deserved to live not me. He had so much promise.

     "Don't think like that," says a gruff, familiar voice from behind me, making me jump, startled by his sudden appearance.

     "Stay out of my head," I growl, not turning around.

      "You think you don't have promise because you haven't tried to put yourself out there. You haven't tried to make yourself approachable. Maybe God kept you here because He wanted you to have the chance to make something out of your life. Your brother and parents all had their chance to make a mark, they're in a better place now. God still has a plan for you. It was Lucian's time to pass on, but it's not yours, not yet," he says, a hint of anger lacing his words.

     I turn around angrily, looking at Cassiel, now fully clothed, no wings in sight. "Maybe God made a mistake! I mean really, keep the emo loner here just to hate herself and dwell amongst a cloud of survivors guilt. Makes sense!" I yell sarcastically, and he growls, moving forward with rage in his eyes, making them glow an intense red.  Instinctively I back up, feeling like prey being advanced upon by a predator, freezing in fear as I back up into a tree.

~~~~~

      I growl, advancing toward her in pure rage, causing her to back up into a tree with a look of panic and fear settled on her face.

     I wrap my hand around her neck, pressing her hard against the tree, ignoring her gasp of pain. "Do not insult or doubt my Father's plan for you Scarlett. Do not blame Him for what has happened, and most of all do not blame your guilt and self-hatred on him. You choose how you react to the loss of your family, with hatred towards God, or faith in His plan for you. It's your choice," I growl in her ear, making her tremble, gasping for breath but not fighting against me. 

     For a moment I look down at her and can't help thinking how sexy it is to see her like this, so helpless and vulnerable. I look in her fear filled eyes and release her, turning around and punching a tree in anger. What the hell am I doing?  I thought confused and frustrated at the violence and senseless thoughts running through my head. This wasn't me. This wasn't what I was trained to act like.

      I sink to my knees, my head in my hands in frustration and guilt. I knelt there for a few minutes before I feel soft hands pull my hands away from my face, taking my chin in one of her hands and angling my face up to look at her. Her other hand running through my messy hair, calming me down as I look into her beautiful blue eyes, glossy with unwashed tears. I close my eyes, my heart hurting for this poor girl, she just lost her family and here I am making things even worse.

      I gasp as I feel a pair of arms wrap tightly around me, her face nuzzling into the crook of my neck. Instinctively I wrap my arms around her, adjusting my sitting position and pull her onto my lap, pulling her close. "I'm so sorry," I choke out, tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

~~~~

         I hear him gasp as I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, as I nussle my  face l into the crook of his neck. I close my eyes as I feel his arms around me, adjusting his sitting position and pull me onto his lap, pulling me close. "I'm so sorry," he chokes out, "I'm so sorry."

      I pull away slightly, looking into his now dull red eyes, no longer glowing, a tear streaking down his face. I study him, my eyes searching his. As much as he scared me, he had a point, and I needed that wake up call. Seeing him knelt down, so vulnerable looking broke my heart. Yet at the same time I felt a sudden urge for the feeling of pencil on paper, drawing the scene of him kneeling in the woods, his head in his hands, but shirtless, his black wings hanging limp behind him.

      That's when realization hit me. Why his looks and style were so contrary to what you'd imagine an angel to be. Why he had black wings and red eyes, why he knew my family passed on, and that they were in a better place.

      He was the angel of death...

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     End of Chapter 2!!! Feel free to vote, comment and share. I love you all!!!