•մղϲօղժíեíօղɑӏ• ×××եҽղեɑϲíօղ

•c h a p t e r t h r e e •

~Տմղժɑվ Ղíցհե~

•Amani P.O.V.•

"Alexa can you fucking move?!" I said, highly annoyed.

I'm just trying to detangle my hair, but she decided to do her damn edges right in my mirror, in my room.

"Don't be a stingy bitch Amani, I'm minding my own business." She said while rolling her eyes.

"Your not minding shit.You're in my room, in my mirror, which also happened to be the same mirror I'm using. Now get the hell out before I bop the shit out of you—"

I was cut off by my mom yelling my name.

"Yea ma?" I yelled out from my room.

"Lemme hear you say one more curse word, imma get the switch on yo ass!" She yelled. I groaned in frustration while Alexa just laughed at me in the back.

"That's what yo mean ass get." She said still laughing. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her little ass by her ponytail, literally dragging her out of my room.

"WHAT THE FU— MOM!" She yelled, but I had already shut my door. I might get in trouble, I might not, I don't know, nor do I care.

You would probably think I'm an asshole, but I'm really not. I'm actually a nice-ish person. I mean, I don't really have any friends to be nice to, except for Saniyah, and kind of Kyana.

I'm not a type of person to be friends with everybody, because I don't really like people, well most people. I'm that type of person that sits in the back of the class, with my hood up, listening to music and writing in my journal. Mostly emotional and sad poems or random thoughts that come to mind is what's in there.

I wouldn't say I was depressed,even though I am, but I don't like admitting it. I hate admitting it because i feel selfish, people have it way worse than me, and they seem to get through it.

I'm depressed because of my insecurities, I've never loved myself fully, I've never had anyone that means something to me actually make me feel good. I hate myself, and everything about it.

Speaking of which, I was feeling pretty in my feelings, so I decided to grab my journal and pen. I sat on my bed and sat under my throw blanket, and began writing whatever came to mind.

happiness is a feeling of relief and no worries
happiness is a feeling of joy
happiness is a good feeling
but my opinion of happiness?
I believe it's bullshit
It isn't going to last forever
I believe it's temporary
I don't see the point of is though
nor have I been necessarily happy
what's the point of being happy?
when you know it's not going to last?
what's the point when the source of happiness isn't going to last forever?
I'd rather not be happy
i'd rather not be fooled into believing that it's gonna last forever
overall...
happiness is not eternal
happiness is temporary

(a/n: this is actually one of the poems in my real journal, and imma be using some of mine as amani's)

I had finished writing so I got up to put my journal back in the drawer that it was in. I walked passed my window and since my room is located in the front of the house, I  saw that my neighbor had another car in her driveway. It was a  black 2016 Chevy Camaro.

My neighbor across from us was Ms. Bernard. She's this old lady who used to babysit Alexa when she was five until she was eleven, so we know her pretty well.