playlist peter and tony

Circles

This wasn't in Tony's plan, none of this was going as he wanted it to. He just wanted to get Peter home, safe with May but that wasn't how it happened, it never goes to plan. Now he was sat alone in his house.

His house was empty, sure there was still Pepper and occasionally Happy or Rhodey but it was empty. There was no giddy teenager ranting about star wars or a new gadget he had found in his suit. It was silent. The whole world was silent.

Images flashed in his mind when slowly both Tony and Peter realised what was happening, voices would spin around his head every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Tony never found himself happy or even himself anymore.

Everyday a life time repeated in his mind, the life he had with Peter. The times Peter would fall over and not get up until he could contain his laughter. When Peter's eyes were glued to the Tv even when it was switched off he stared for a while. The way Peter could make Tony's day better just by smiling.

The innocence and unknowingness of the boy broke Tony's heart. As he looked at the picture he had framed on his table in the lab he quietly spoke "if I told you how you're story ended, would you have lived your days the same?" For some reason tony thought Peter would reply. He wondered if Peter would still idolise him even though Tony got him into this mess? Would he not fly up onto that ship? Would he even continue to be Spider-Man?

Pepper would watch Tony speak to nothing everyday, she knew it was wrong, she knew it was unhealthy; but Tony thought he'd be back. This day Tony broke, he picked up the frame and threw it across the room simply burying his head in his hands. He didn't want to live with the guilt anymore.

If people watched there would be headlines of 'Has Tony Stark gone mad?' As the billionaire shouted "I'm sorry!" Like the voices in his head had driven him to insanity. But he wasn't insane he was upset, frustrated and drained. Tony Stark rarely cried but recently he cried at least once a day, he was a broken man.

Pepper walked in and placed a comforting hand on Tony's back and led him out of his lab and into an area where he couldn't see Peter constantly. She spoke in a soft and calm voice "lets give these ghosts a new home." They both looked out to the sea knowing this was Peters favourite place to sit when he was sad or needed to calm down, it was his happy place.

Tony was never a sentimental person but the death of Peter changed him. He wrote a letter to place on the ground on top of the roof where Peter used to sit. He didn't think when writing it, just letting all of his emotions flow onto the page.

'Hey Pete, 
I should've seen it long before that I was going to mean something bad for you, you were so innocent and pure and I was well the opposite. I'm dying to see you again, I always tell myself that you'll be back but my words betray me ; I've always been someone who understood everything but these words contradict all that I stand for. I miss you every day. I'm trying to deal with the fact you're gone but I'm still learning, I'm still learning. I understand why you would hate me but if I could relive all my days with you I'd live them the same. But I now I must say goodbye properly, I'll remember you and I'll never forget you.
Mr.Stark'

The paper was stained with tears as he folded it up he felt better, he felt better for the first time in two years, he was learning to cope. Because this is his life now, he will not run in circles.

-Eden-

{I love this song so much I think it's so beautiful and incredibly well written, I know this was a bit hard hitting but I thought it fit the scene quite well.}

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