A wonderful book of Daddy Negan smut. Yup it's a book all about my sex life. Well...me being Negan. But if you consider the 15 year old in me...I have no sex life...God I'm lonely...
A/N: Hey guys just a warning this chapter may or may not make you cry. I'm sorry, its a really rough day and it's one of those days with my Grampa and I just want to make these feelings go away. What better way to do that than make Negan cry and possibly all of you guys. Love y'all. Please always keep fighting and keep on keepin on. I love you all. So much.
Xogr
It's been a week since it happened. Negan was completely heartbroken. He truly felt broken, like life had finally beat him. He felt like completely giving up on life.
Lucille had been in the hospital for the past two weeks and she had said goodbye to everyone...well almost everyone.
Although Negan never left Lucille's side while she was in the hospital, he couldn't face his once beautiful wife on her death bed.
Today was her funeral. Negan considered not going but he needed that closure. He needed to do it...for her.
He reluctantly climbed out of the now, unnaturally empty, bed and into the shower. His head rested on the cold tile wall as the warm water ran down his body. He couldn't fight the tears anymore.
Negan let go of all the emotions he was holding in. He turned around and slid down the wall and sat on the floor of the shower.
He sat there until there weren't anymore tears to shed and the water was now freezing cold. Negan slowly got up off the floor and shut the water off.
Negan wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. Walking up to the vanity, wiped the steam off the mirror and looked at his reflection. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose was stuffed and his cheeks were tear stained.
"Get your shit together, man. You need to get the fuck out there and do it for...." He said trailing off slightly. "Do it for Lucille." He managed to choke out.
Negan ran his hands through his wet hair and headed to the door. "Be strong." He told himself.
Sighing heavily, he walked into the bedroom and grabbed the black suit out of the closet. He hesitantly got dressed and headed to the living room.
He looked down at his watch and sighed heavily. He had twenty minutes to get to the cemetery where they're burying Lucille. He grabbed the keys to his truck and headed to the kitchen where he grabbed his emergency flask.
After tucking it away in his jacket pocket, Negan headed out the door and to his truck. He started it and looked over to the passenger seat.
Tears stung his eyes and he quickly looked away and backed out of the driveway.
Fifteen minutes later Negan pulled up to the cemetery and hesitated to get out of his truck. He made sure no one saw him before taking his flask out of his pocket and taking a swig of the drink.
He quickly tucked it in his jacket pocket and headed to the white cabana. "Hey Negan." A voice said from the side.
Negan turned and saw it was his old friend Jason. He gave him a weak smile and a wave of acknowledgement. "Hey man." He said as he shook his hand.
"How you doin' brother?" Jason asked as he pulled him in a tight hug. Negan sighed heavily and tried to fight the tears.
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(Jason happens to be Dean Winchester. Don't question it. It's for the story.)
"I can't do this man. I can't do this without her." He sobbed. Jason held him tightly as he cried. "It hurts so much. Why...why would she leave me? She said she loved me but she left me." He sobbed again.
"It's okay, Negan. Just let it out." Jason said quietly as he hugged him tighter. "She's not hurting anymore. She's watching over you. She wants you to be strong. Don't dwell on this and be dying for yourself and her."
Negan stayed in Jason's arms for a few minutes later before the tears stopped coming. "I love you, brother." He said as he wiped his face.
"I love you too, man" Jason said as he pat his shoulder. "You've got this. You'll be okay."
"I'll be okay...but I don't know when." Negan said quietly. He gave Jason a quick hug before walking away and sat down at a table in the corner.
He waited until it was time to put Lucille's casket in the ground before going up to the front and saying goodbye.
"I love you, so much Lucille." He whispered quietly as he put a Cherokee Rose on the lid. He stepped back and wiped away a stray tear.
A few hours later Negan said goodbye to everyone and drove home in silence. Once he got inside his house he went to his bar and began drinking heavily.
After passing out at the counter, Negan woke up from a nightmare he had. He was sweating and panting. Grabbing a cool rag out of the bathroom, he laid down in bed and went back to sleep.
He woke up the next day and continued his daily routine. Shower, cry, get dressed, make breakfast, cry, watch tv, drink, cry and drink more, sleep, wake up screaming, cry some more, drink more and then finally back to sleep.
That was his way of life for several months, years...until he met Melanie. She saved him. She showed him how to love again. It's what Lucille would've wanted. She would want him to move on and get back in life. So that's what he did. For Lucille.
A/N: *takes deep breath* Holy shit. We did it. I'm sorry if some of you cried while reading this. It's the only way I can ever channel my emotions. I love you all and hoped you enjoyed. Akf and koko.
