Solby : The Bully

Panic Attack

"And what if I don't?" Isaac asks, crossing his arms.

Sam hesitates, walking closer to us.

"You'll regret it." Sam says after a bit.

Isaac erupts in laughter.

"You? Making me regret this? You're funny, Sam. Now buzz off before I hurt you too."

I nod for Sam to leave, not wanting Isaac to kill the boy.

But he doesn't. He just stands there with a determined look aimed towards Isaac.

"No." He says, and starts to walk closer to us.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you, moron." Isaac replys, turning his attention to Sam.

I try to free my arms by pulling forward, causing the guys holdong me back to stryggle. They take their hand of my mouth, and I imidiatly yell, "Stop! Sam just go!"

Sam sends me a glance, his eyes full of anxiety and dread. But he stil doesn't listen to my plead.

Isaac gets up in Sams face, trying to intimidate Sam. Just like what I do.
Sam takes a step back, but doesn't flee, glarring at Isaac with hated look. Isaac snears, and swiftly grabs Sams neck.

I struggle more against the people holding me back, to no avail.

I watch as Isaac slams Sam into a locker and holding him there by his neck as the blonde grabs at his arm, trying to get free.

"Stop!" I yell. Isaac doesn't react.

I close my eyes so I don't have to look. So I don't have to feel bad for the boy I've bullied for years, hearing his pained crys against Isaac's cruel nature.

I felt myself getting lightheaded, my knees shaking from under me. And before I could call out or do anything, I blacked out.

*****

The fuzzy shine of the ceiling light is the first thing I see as I opened my eyes. I sit up from where I was laying and look around to see I am in the nurses office. I glance to the left of me, seeing Sam sitting in a chair next to the bed I'm laying in, looking half asleep.

"Sam?" I ask quietly, my voice barely audible.

Sam looks over at me, and only then do i see a huge cut on his cheek, and his bruised neck. His expression full of sorrow, making my stomach twist.

"Oh.. Good to see you're awake." He says, looking back down.

"What happened?" I reply, keeping my voice as emotionless as posible so he doesn't get the idea that I'm worried about him...because I'm not. I think.

"You passed out, and the two guys Isaac was with panicked and ran off."

"What happened with Isaac?"

"He just stood there. I ran over and brought you to the nurse. He didn't try and stop me."

I sigh.

"Who were the guys that were holding me anyway? I never got a chance to look at their faces."

"Oh. Uh...I don't think it's a good idea to tell you that." Sams expression changes to guilt.

I tilt my head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Nevermind."

"So you aren't going to tell me?"

"No."

"Ugh, fine whatever."

My confusion turns into annoyance, but I don't say anything else to start up and argument. I'm not in the mood for that right now.

"How long have I been asleep?" I ask, changing the subject.

"An hour." He replys without thinking too hard about it.

"Why are you here?"

Sam hesitates on responding, and he continues to avoid eye contact.

"To uh..make sure you were okay." He responds in a quiet voice. His response startled me, and I don't respond. Why would he do that? I've done nothing but torment him, and he still worrys about me.

I stand up after a few awkward minutes, and make my way the the door.

"Where are you going?" Sam asks, standing up.

"To class. I can't stay here all day." I respond, and leave the room.

Instead of going to class, i walk to the bathroom, and lock myself in one of the stalls. I need time to think. Think about everything right now. If feels like everything is spiraling down a hole and all I can do is watch it happen. Watch as everything changes around me. Every bright flower in sight wither away into dust.
I know I sound dramatic, and I probably am being so, but I can't help but feel anxious. Anxious about Isaac, about Brennen and Corey. Anxious around Sam.
This isn't how my life is supposed to happen, it's all wrong. I'm supposed to be seen as the strong one that shouldn't be messed with, I want people to fear me. Maybe that way they won't bully me, hurt me like Isaac does. But he saw right through me, he saw how weak I really am. And that kills me inside.
It won't be long before everyone around me knows the truth, and look down on me in disgust. I won't be able to hide anymore, it would be unavoidable. Brennen doesn't trust me, and Corey thinks I'm a terrible person. And those two are my only real friends, I don't know what to do without them.
Breathing hurts, talking hurts, everything hurts.
I grib my chest, realising that I am hyperventilating. I go into a coughing fit, the walls around me appear to close in. My vision gets dark and fuzzy.
Everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts.
My lungs feel like they are shrinking with every gasped breath, just waiting to dissapear.
I breath in as much as possible, realising that I am having a panic attack.