Your Teacher (Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Erik?" Christine asked, having gained enough courage to discuss the one thing they hadn't yet talked about.

Erik saw the curious expression on her face but didn't think anything of it. "Yes, love?"

She knew this was probably the last thing he wanted to talk about… It was probably the worst possible time to bring it up… But she'd just told him that she loved him. With that love, she felt the need to bring up one particular subject- the mask. "I was wondering…"

As soon as she began to speak, Erik knew. She's about to talk about my face, he thought with dread. "Please," he interrupted before she could say another word. "I think I know what you are about to say. Can we not talk about it?"

She opened her mouth to protest but quickly closed it and averted her eyes to the floor. If he loves me and I love him, then why can't we talk about it? She didn't speak.

Now he'd upset her. It was unforgivable. Hesitantly, he asked, "Christine? Angel?" She looked up at him with an expression that suggested she was trying to suppress disappointment. "Please, don't be sad. It's better this way." In a soft voice, he said, "You don't want to know. Really, you don't."

She thought about it for a few seconds. "But I do," she said softly. "Look, I love you and that's not going to change. Erik, I've known you for six years. I've never once judged you. I accept you the way you are. I-I just want to know why you wear a mask."

"All right," he consented. "I wear a mask because the right side of my face bears a horrible deformity." His tone turned bitter. "It is disgusting. I am the way I am because it controls me. It controls who I am so that I will never forget." His arms crossed. "I despise it."

Christine couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he had obviously suffered. To want to wear a mask was one thing, but to have to wear it at all times was just.. unfair. An unfair, undeserved misfortune. Now that he'd told her, she wanted to show him that he didn't have to wear it around her.

She stayed silent for a moment trying to sort through what she wanted to say. "Thank you for telling me. I know it must be hard for you to talk about. But I want you to know that you don't have to find it hard to talk about with me. I love you. I love everything about you. So.. Will you let me see your face?"

A wall was slowly being built between them and Erik crossed his arms in a guarded sort of way. "You know not what you ask, Christine."

Christine could see what was happening and knew she had to stop it. She didn't want him to feel so uncomfortable. There was a part of her that wished she hadn't just asked him to take it off, but another part, the bigger part, wanted him to trust her enough to show her his face. Truthfully, if he really refused to take off the mask, it would always be in the way. Of course, it would never dissipate the love she felt for him, but she would always wonder. Her curiosity would always lead her to want to know. "Erik," she began calmly. "Please, don't push me away. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't ask." She sighed. "I just.. I want to know all of you. I want to see what has caused you so much pain so that I can try to take the pain away."

He frowned. "You think my letting you see this face would take the pain away?"

Christine tried to think. I'm going about this the wrong way! This is very real and very serious, and I'm making it sound like some scene out of a movie. She felt like punching herself for her stupidity. This isn't about me! That sudden realization made her gasp. "I'm so selfish," she couldn't stop herself from saying.

Erik was feeling worse and worse about himself. I'm treating her horribly… But I cannot allow this to happen! Why can't this be enough for her? His shoulders slumped. A moment later, though, his posture straightened. She'd just belittled herself. "Selfish?" he asked in disbelief. The word had crossed his mind, but only towards himself, never towards her.