Untitled

A-ha

Wow.I mean , this place, god it sucks. "Bite me for thinking college would be fun", I tell my mom. "You've only been here for ten seconds". False , I have been here for 17 seconds and I have hated every single one of them. I don't know what I was expecting. Its not even the college .It's just being away from home. It's true you only miss something when it's not there. I can't just let go of a place that has seen me grow up. My mom's voice interrupts my thoughts. "You got everything ?' "Yes ma , I don't think I have lost anything from the last time you asked me which was like a minute ago" . My mom glares at me . I think mom glares are underrated. Dear English language, death glares would not suffice. We need to come up with a new word that brings out an annoyed mom's deepest desires to throw her child off a cliff but also be there to catch the child well because she's mom.

Meanwhile my dad is appreciating the placement board. Dads will always be dads. He's a really cool dad though. He always finishes my lyrics even if it is to a JB song. He's no chill when it comes to tattoos though.

As I stand among the long queue of parents and kids to find my dorm room I reach for my pocket to grab my phone, " 0 notifications, one reminder ". Oh ! what a surprise. I click open the reminder, "DO NOT FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH". I groan and growl like an unfed angry bear that I'm positive anyone within a mile radius would have heard me . " I packed your toothbrush", wait for it, dramatic pause "and your towel ".  Wow I mean ,maaaan . MOMS ARE JUST THE BEST." Thanks mom " , I grin.I would have totally lost my shit  if I had to be in this wretched place where I don't know anybody and also walk around with bad breath which would henceforth ensure that I won't know anyone for quite sometime. 

We reach the dorm room and I immediately feel okay because MY ROOM MATE LIKES HARRY POTTER!!!!!!. There are only two kinds of people in the world, the ones who love Harry Potter and the ones who don't . THERE IS NO, JUST NO IN  BETWEEN. My mom and dad notice it and look at me the same time, grinning . Honestly,they look more relieved than I do. "It's not so bad after-all huh ?" , My dad asks. True I worked hard for this ,cleared the entrance test, aced the interview I want to be here.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves , she probably thinks Bellatrix and Voldemort are actually married and in love."
"Woah woah  now slow it there, grumpy."

I was kind of anticipating the "don't do drugs don't get hammered", but my  parents spare me the "talk".  I've never done anything close to wild . I've had a pretty boring life, so my parents just figured I wouldn't do anything stupid.
My parents well up when it's time for them to leave. I give them the cliched assurances of all cliched assurances: "you know I'm going to call everyday right?". "You better" ,my mom says in between sobs .My dad then finally finds the courage to leave with my mom. They both kiss me and we bear hug, and just like that they left , they are gone. The thought that I won't be sleeping in my house fills my head and panic hits me like a cannonball . I try to soothe myself, but I can't. I cry, I don't just cry, I full on weep . I make my SOS call and reach for my I-pod and jam into my emergency playlist. "Take on me " should be given more credit than it has already got . At the precise moment a girl walks in , not much taller than me, brown hair, multiple piercings, butt chin. Yes I call them butt chins and not dimple chins pfft . "Hey I'm Sushi". I laugh, god stop laughing . "I'm sorry , I think I heard you wrong. "
"Nope" she says.
"So you're sushi like the fish ?"
"Yep, exactly like that, and you are ?" I don't know why but I feel like my name should have been a food item like croissant or lemon tart or something. My name now just feels weirdly out of place.
"Hi I'm Monica .Yes I excessively clean and no I don't have a brother named Ross."  She laughs. Just then a guy in a bomber jacket waltzes in and scoops Sushi for an R rated kiss and spanks her on the butt.I realize that I've been staring and also that my staring has not bothered them yet and are still stuck to each other like two butt cheeks of one butt. So I do the most appropriate thing, I clear my throat really loudly. Works like magic.
"Hey didn't see you there" he blushes.
"Hi " I say , "you must be Boiled Rice " I'm pretty sure he's heard that joke a million times but I had to make the fuck all joke otherwise I would not be able to sleep.
"Hi I'm Harold , you can call me Haz". I reach out and shake his hand and good lord, he's gorgeous. I realize I've been holding his hand for more than two seconds and haven't given him my name yet. Sushi clears her throat really loudly this time. Well played Sushi, well played. 

"Hi I'm Monica." He quirks his eyebrows like he disproves of my name . Spoiler alert. I don't look anything like Courtney Cox, not even close. I have black hair if that counts . I'm not as fat as fat Monica but also not as thin as Monica Bing. I'm three burgers far behind thin.
"Okaaay now that you've met each other, you ready to go babe ?"
And just like that sushi and rice left.
Now I'm in my room alone with unpacked bags and I suddenly feel lonely. Not lonely just alone, but then when I look around at the bags strewn about I do the most Monica thing , I unpack and clean the room to the dot because damn it, it would be a shame otherwise.