Late Night Phone Calls | Tyrus

Part 10: People Expect Me To

TJ's POV

Cyrus clings to me like a magnet, but his hold on me is nothing compared to mine on him. His tears make my chest damp, and a few of my own drip down onto his hair. Neither of us want to let go, and that's okay with me. I would stay here with him forever if I could. 

All of a sudden, a crackle bursts out from down the block, and Cyrus and I both shock our heads up and around my truck to see a crowd of teenagers spilling out from Brian's house through the door. An orange glow shines through the window, and shouts sound out from the fleeting kids. 

I remove my arms from around Cyrus before the runners get close enough to see us. Then I hoist him up by his arms and open the door to the driver's side of my truck. 

"Get in!" I shout to Cyrus over the noise of the panicking people around us. 

Cyrus nods. While he climbs up, I push his back lightly to get him in quicker. He scoots over to the passenger side before I hop in beside him and slam the door shut. The motor screeches to a start, and I swerve the vehicle away from the curb and down the street. I want to drive faster, but that wouldn't be wise with the people darting out on front of me as I drive. 

Eventually, the car makes it out of the neighbourhood and onto the boulevard, at which point, I reach my hand across to take Cyrus'. I want to say I told you so, tell him he should've listened to me when I said he shouldn't come, but I also know that that wouldn't do any good. I just can't stand seeing him so broken, and that makes me mad at myself for being so stupid as to leave him alone at that party.  

After he's run out of tears, he asks quietly, "What was that crackle?" 

"Some dumbass probably brought fireworks again," I reply.

"Again? That's normal?"

"Not normal exactly, but not shocking."

"Oh." 

Cyrus stays quiet for a while, just staring out at the shadows from the streetlights as we pass them by. Then he lets out a shuddering breath as he speaks again. 

"I'm sorry," he says.

"You? No, I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have come," he goes on.

"No, I should've stayed with you," I say. "I was stupid."

He smiles gently as he looks at me, his eyes still puffy from all the crying he did. 

"What happened?" I ask. 

He frowns, saying, "I don't—I don't really wanna talk about it right now."

I wish he would talk about it, but I'm not going to push him. He's already gone way out of his comfort zone tonight, and I just want him to be okay again. 

"Okay," I respond. 

"TJ?" comes his frail voice again. "Why do you go to those parties?"

I sigh and look ahead at the road, trying to simplify the massive answer in my head: because I'm the confident captain of the basketball team; because Reed and Lester have been my friends since elementary school, since before they started making stupid choices; because I'm the big, tough jock who likes to have fun; because I'm the bully who puts down people like Buffy; because I'm the cool, definitely straight guy who would never like a soft boy like Cyrus Goodman—because I'm everything except what I am. 

"Because people expect me to," I conclude. 

Cyrus lets that soak in for a moment before responding, "I don't expect you to."